That's my dad


This morning I went to the DMV. It was actually not a bad experience. I was there for only 50 minutes, and the employees were joking around with me. My new photo is actually one of the better recent pictures of me.

Last night I dreamt that I had to explain sound symbolism and its relevance to French. I have no idea what the context was.

I am up early so I can go to the DMV and get my license renewed. This means a new picture, for which I am somewhat excited. I had a bad hair day 5 years ago, and I've been forced to remember it ever since.

I went out yesterday evening and got these pants. I got them for a lot less than $130, and they look better on my butt than on the mannequin's. I win.


     There was an old C-list movie actor named Elwood Jablomey (brother of Haywood, I guess). He resented pretty much everyone, because practically no one saw his movies and consequently he wasn't as famous as he thought he deserved to be. He had a gun and started taking people out on the quad. He had terrible teeth and a crazy look in his eye.
     Kristin found a loophole in the Settlement information on insurance that said we could get benefits if we were a couple, so we started dating.
     A girl from work was getting married. She had a processional, but it was very informal; there was no order (except she was first) and we picked up whoever along the way. We just walked around some mountains. Her dress was strapless. The bodice part was a boned corset. It was very pretty, except for the fact that the white satin dress had a layer of black tulle.
     I was made to go to church. Elijah Wood had also been so forced. We skipped out on the service and made out. After a few weeks of this, he took me home, and his parents praised me for getting him to be so religious. They also said I was pretty.


1, 2, 3 I WIN. Ahhh, what a good game. I played it today and I won. Specifically, I found out that Fucking Steve quit his job at the newspaper this summer, and has been unemployed and living at home ever since. What a loser. He's been out of school for 19 months, and he's been employed for less than 12. This isn't because finding jobs is hard or anything like that. He just doesn't want to work. He wants to wake up in the morning and sit outside and work on his motorcycle. He has absolutely no ambition. He doesn't want to face the harsh reality that he's 25 years old, living with his parents, and doing nothing with his life except bitching about how poor he is. Poor indeed--poor baby.

And, for fun, here's a picture of me wearing a sweater I made:

Please ignore the "I'm trying to be a model" pose.

     I used mascara to dye my hair dark brown. Everyone thought it looked really good.


Tonight Tom and I watched Happiness. I've wanted to see it for a while, and it was actually less disturbing than I thought it would be. I had to leave right after the movie, though, cause I started feeling really sick. I was positive I was going to throw up, and I spent the next 75 minutes locked in the bathroom. Turned out I just burped a bunch of times. I don't normally drink soda, but today I had a lot--a can and two small-sized cups from restaurants. I also had a third of a beer. I think it was just the carbonation. Ever since this past summer, carbonation has made me feel really sick. For the rest of this week, I'm sticking to water. I'm feeling a lot better right now, but SHIT do I hate that feeling. You just want to vomit and get it over with so you can lay your head on your cool pillow and feel better.

To hopefully take some of the grossness away from this post, here's my dream from last night:
     Sara and I were working at Walgreens. I was back at my cosmetics counter, and she was doing customer service. Whenever she got a caller who was being a jerk, she'd roll her eyes at me and we'd laugh.
There was more, but I forgot it since I woke up 16 hours ago.


Ugh. I got an A- in my conversation class, the most blowoff of all my classes. I'm actually really disappointed. GPA for this semester: 3.9. It's no good to say now, and probably a bit disgusting, but I could have done better.


     Talia and I signed up for another Judaism class, this one on the traditions surrounding Sukkot. We found out somehow that Nathan was signed up for the same class, so we went to his office to tell him. He said, "Don't talk. You look like a dork when you talk." I started doing a little Ashley-Simpson-esque dance, as if that would help anything.


I got an A in Judaism. I'm so glad I did that last minute paper. And I'm really glad that I didn't spend that much time on it, because I got a 93% (Dear Professor: that was the shittiest paper I've ever written. I didn't even write about all the stuff you put in the prompt. Joke's on you!)

Grade tally so far:
French civ - A-
Judaism - A

I was going to register for Arabic, but they're not offering the first semester of it. Same for Polish, Russian, and Ukranian. I ended up adding intensive Catalan, which I've been thinking about for a while. I have 18 credit hours, including 2 graduate sections, but I had 17 credit hours this past semester and I kicked ass. I'm not too concerned. I have 3 film classes, which shouldn't be bad--I'm a pimp when it comes to film.


Home now.

I finally have my digital camera in my hot little hands. It's fun. I need a bigger memory card, cause right now the one that came with can only hold 12 photos. I've been playing around with it, and hopefully soon I'll get a decent picture of me ("Not bloody likely!" --Seinfeld)

I saw Syriana tonight. It made me feel really ignorant. I was able to follow most of Matt Damon's and George Cloony's storylines, but I couldn't figure out what that lawyer (Bennett Holiday) was doing.

I left my computer's AC power cord at school. Whoops. I'll need to go back later this week to get it.

I think I want to learn Arabic. I want to study French linguistics, and there's a large Muslim population in France; French is also spoken in northern Africa. It might be cool to study the effects of Arabic and French on each other. I dunno. Just a thought.

I'll leave you with this thought: My dad? Got a picture? Of my dog? WITH SANTA.


Today I handed in my last paper and took my last final. I'm officially done with Fall 05. The worst part, worse than taking the finals, worse than writing the papers, is waiting for my grades. Jeez. I hate waiting for my grades. Especially since this semester I'm going for all As (save that A- in my civ class).


Dream (this is a trippy one):
     I had just woken up, and I had missed my piano lesson. I called my teacher and he said to come in right then to make it up. So I did. But then it turned out that was just a dream, and I woke up and I really had missed my lesson. Nathan was pissed. [I woke up for real from this dream at 1pm, and was relieved to find that I had not in fact missed my lesson.]
     Talia and I were supposed to go out for dinner after my lesson (just like in real life), but that got screwed up and she was mad at me. And then she turned into a 3-year-old. We went with two other people to a Thai restaurant, but 3-year-old Talia threw a tantrum because she wanted to go to "sipotle" (she couldn't pronounce the ch). We ended up going to Chipotle, where she spit lettuce all over the restaurant.


Today I went to the Urbana library to get an application. I figure if I can get a job there, it would be better than working at this crappy store. The lady at the reference desk said she didn't know if they had any job openings, but that's fine. I don't need a job. It's just nice to have one.

I went into work today and after a few hours my boss told me, "You're doing a really great job today," almost condescendingly. Yesterday and today I kind of ignored her, so I think she got the point that I was upset. I can't be bought that easily, though. I'm still upset. I'm still thinking of quitting, especially if I can get this library job.

Today I had a really good sandwich. It was turkey, provolone, advocado, tomato, lettuce, and onions on pesto bread. Amazing. I might have to go back to Espresso tomorrow to see if they have more.

I got an A- in my French Civ course. I should have done better, but I was lazy.


A somewhat long story that explains why I'm frustrated right now:

At work, closing out the register is not part of our basic training. I had to go in one night specifically to learn how to close it out. I've worked with girls who didn't know how to do it (and it's a somewhat complicated process). Last week, my boss scheduled two girls to close, and neither of them knew how to close out the register. They called me, and I went in and showed them. I figured it was better to err on the side of caution.

A few days later, I went into work and my boss wanted to talk to me. She wanted to know what that was all about. I told her that they didn't know what they were doing, and I didn't feel comfortable letting them do it with only the book. (We have a book that gives vague instructions on how to do it. Several things are missing--how to open the register, for instance. It also doesn't list solutions for any contingencies.) My boss said she was disappointed in the two girls who called me, but I wasn't in trouble.

Today, I went into work, and my boss said that I got "written up", because there was no reason I should have clocked in unauthorized.

I honestly thought I was being helpful by going in and showing them how to do it. I'm really frustrated because this makes no sense. There was money involved; I erred on the side of caution.

I sent my boss an e-mail asking what the other infractions are that one could get written up for. It's ridiculous that I'm in trouble. Also, I don't know why learning how to close out the register isn't part of the standard training.

ETA: The two girls who called me are also in trouble.


So tonight Talia and I went out to the Chinese buffet. As we were putting on our coats to leave, our waitress came up and grabbed Talia's arm and started asking her where she got her coat. And then...she HUGGED TALIA. FROM BEHIND. I don't understand it either.

So I'm in the middle of this big take-home final, and I'm supposed to have a word count for each part (there are 10 different parts, which actually makes it easier, but I digress). In French, you put a space on either side of a quotation mark, a semicolon, a colon, a question mark, and an exclamation point, so my automatic word count is counting each of those as one word. It's also counting page citations and [...] as words. Normally this would be good, cause it means free words with less content. But I have a max word limit imposed on each part, and I'm having trouble staying under the limit while still building a strong case. I have to go through and count each word by hand. French is full of little words that have only a few letters, so it's a pain in the ass to count those. The one good thing is that French words contract fairly often, so that means I get two words for the price of one.

This take-home final is due today. I hope I can get it done. 12.5 hours left...

UPDATE: I'm done. I did a shitty job, and I'll probably get a C, but I'm done. I can breathe. I can eat. I can do stuff without feeling guilty that I'm not spending every second on that soul-crushing paper. Talia and I are going to have a much-needed celebration.


Someone from the Netherlands read my blog! And someone from Sweden! And a couple people from California (Malibu & LA), and someone from Washington, and someone from Indy, and someone from Oregon, and Carbondale, and Nebraska... And someone from Oak Park really likes reading my blog, apparently. I swear, this StatCounter.com account was not a smart idea; now I'm just paranoid. Why are you people reading this?! I'm not interesting! I don't write well! I don't have anything funny to say! ...Not that you should stop reading...I'm just confused, but happy that people are reading this. Although 80% of people who come here stay for less than 5 seconds. That's funny.

This post brought to you by paranoid personality disorder.


So of course with the success of LOTR and HP in holiday seasons past, we are moving on to Narnia as our fantasy epic moneymaker. In preparation, I started rereading the books. When I was young, I only got through The Magician's Nephew; The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; and part of The Horse and his Boy. Last night I finished The Magician's Nephew, and I'm starting to remember why I didn't finish the series. The books are interesting, I suppose, but the characters are kind of boring. The characterization of Polly was pretty funny, how she's jealous and all that, but Digory? The cabby? Jadis? Etc.? Meh. They also don't seem to react to things in the way that real people do; "Oh, a talking lion? What will they think of next?" They just react to things in the way that stoic, static book characters react. I'll continue to read the series in case it gets any better (because, honestly, I don't remember anything about it besides the wardrobe and Turkish Delights), and I'll definitely at least read LWW because I kind of want to see the movie.


So if I'm reading my blog stats thingy correctly, 9 different people besides me visited my blog today. That strikes me as almost absurd. I know Cassie and Talia read it, and Kristin does from time to time, and I think maybe Rob does...but who else? This is crazy! Show yourself, people who are reading my blog.

Finished paper. Did oral (shut up). Did exam. I'm giving myself a short break before I start the next paper.

I just realized that I probably fuck up people's stat counters for their blogs. I click around my bookmarks every few hours, searching for updates. Whoops. I'm not an obsessive blog-stalker. Except I probably am. Dammit.

Also, I'm a dork because I really liked this brief photo essay of the union of TWOP and Chicago.

I'm writing a paper, and I've hit a brick wall. This paper is on humanism and medicine during the Renaissance. I have 2.5 pages. It's supposed to be 5-7. I've read everything I can find on the topic. I can probably get another half page out of the closing paragraph, but then I still need two more pages. I'm supposed to hand this in by 5pm tomorrow. I really want to get this done ASAP so I can start on my huge take-home final for lit that I probably should have started a week ago. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh.

-start new paper


     I was brushing my teeth, and while I was brushing, half of them fell out. I was panicking, but my mother just put them in a bowl of chili (instead of milk) and said that we would be able to put them back in.
     Then I was working camp again, but none of the brats would listen to me. I said, "If none of you turds understand English...Alors! Nous parlons le français!" And that got their attention. And they giggled. But then they stopped paying attention to me again.


I don't have to work at all this weekend, which is great. Also great: I bypassed the second level of screening for Language Stars, so it's looking less and less like I'd have to go back to the Settlement this summer. Still working with kids, but I get new faces, a new gossip mill (where no one talks to my mom), and the ability to practice French all summer long. I'm excited.


I got someone to take my hours on Friday and Saturday, so maybe I can actually have time to write papers and get a couple As!

In news that one one but me cares about...

I got my 3rd Judaism paper back today. It is entirely possible for me to get an A in the course! These next several days are so busy for me, but I have complete faith that I'll be able to get everything done and still keep my sanity.

My mom just sent me an e-mail about Goldendoodles. Do a Google Image Search right now. You will not be disappointed. I want one.


I'm trying out new things with the layout.

I have specifically in the coding that the background attachment is fixed, and yet it keeps moving around on me! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I wish I knew HTML.

Update: I fixed it! Yay for life, yay for me!

Today I am wearing a pair of underwear that says "Monday". The pair of underwear is black. Old Navy knows the truth.


Dream (this one's for Cassie & Talia):
     Eddie Izzard had a son named Tad who looked just like him, except he had breast implants. He was a transvestite as well. He wanted to make out with me, so I did.


So today I wasn't feeling well, so I called my mom to feel better. No matter how bad I feel, sympathy from her always makes me feel a little bit better. My mom said she still calls her mom when she feels sick. Hee.

I finished knitting a sweater today. It's blocking. Hopefully it'll be done by this weekend.

I just had what was probably one of the worst nightmares I've ever had, thanks to this headache. Dammit.


I wanted to post a link to this story for the sole reason of making a Les Yeux sans visage reference.

Tonight Talia and I got comfort food in the form of Chinese buffet. And then we went and got groceries. Apparently I think I will be able to subsist on apples, tangerines, and beer. I got Corona and Michelob Amberbock, and then I got this really amazing beer from Leinenkugel: Apple Spice. It's wonderful. Leinenkugel can do no wrong in my book.

I bought the Chronicles of Narnia, and I hope to finish them before I see the movie. It's only a combined 767 pages, and come finals week I should have a lot of free time to read.


I'm sick of writing this stupid paper. So when I get tired of writing, I...write. But on the blog! It's different! But it shouldn't be. Dear self: WRITE. I have 2.5 pages done, and I promised myself that I would crap out at 4 (the assigned maximum is 6). I'm so tired. Ti-yurd.

It just occurred to me that maybe I shouldn't have spent my past 3 paychecks on that camera, and maybe I should have spent them on giftmas presents instead. Oh well. Stufffffffffff. I'll get by.

I want to climb under my warm electric blanket. I don't want to write this paper. I don't want to give this presentation. I do sort of want to watch the French version of 3 Men and a Baby in my conversation class (the French version came first, and the American version is an adaptation).


So tomorrow I have a presentation and a paper. And I have to work tonight. I realized that I never worry about finishing everything, or that it won't be good enough, or anything like that. I'm usually just upset that I have to apply my brain and spend time doing stuff. I'm lazy, dammit. I'm not especially stressed out right now; I'm pretty chill, all things considered. I do really want a nap, but that's not going to happen. I'll plan a nap for Wednesday.


In the past week, I...
-ate at Chipotle twice
-ate Jin's lunch buffet twice
-ate at Courier Cafe twice
-worked two different jobs
-deposited 3 checks
-bought a camera (this)
-bought another pair of shoes (these)
-got my mom to make me autumn leaf cookies
-and so much more.

I have three more weeks until winter break. Before I can go home, I have...
-1 quiz
-2 presentations
-4 papers
-1 take-home final
-1 oral exam
-3 finals
-countless shifts at work
-36 class sessions
-3 piano lessons


     I was taking a final for a linguistics class. The professor had made the test impossibly hard; I had only missed 1 or 2 class sessions, and I didn't know what 99% of the questions even meant. I confronted the professor in a stairwell, and it got heated, and I ended up pushing her over the edge. She died. I lied to everyone and told them that she slipped and fell. My mom called the school and let me stay home from class for a few days, as if it were high school.
     What a horrific dream.

I saw Capote tonight. He was such a two-faced, manipulative little bitch. I have no idea if he was like that in real life, but damn. It did make me want to read In Cold Blood though.

My hair has looked amazing for the past several days, but especially today.


I just applied for a summer internship at Language Stars. It's a paid internship, which is pretty cool. I really hope I get this, partly cause it would be awesome to be able to speak French all summer long, and partly cause it would mean that I wouldn't have to go back to the Settlement. I think their programs are mainly in the mornings, which means I could get another part-time job if I wanted.


I really really liked The Squid and the Whale.

My mom left a note at everyone's places saying, "Grandma Mary would like your Christmas list," and my dad left a note replying, "How would you know? You haven't even seen it :-)" He drew a smiley face.


Last night I finished Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut. I'm not sure how I feel about it, or even what the point of it was. I can kind of guess at it, but it was strange. I think I'll read more stuff by him.

I started Lamb by Christopher Moore. I'm not sure how I feel about that one, either.

Last night at work, the store was busy until 5, and then probably 4 customers came in between then and 9. We had nothing to do, and for a few hours there were 4 of us in there. It was soooo crazy boring. This morning will probably be the same thing, but I'd rather have nothing to do than be crazy busy.

I get to go home today. Tonight (or sometime) I hope to see The Squid and the Whale.


     The Settlement had a program going on at UIUC where they had it be like people in the 1830s were being haunted by ghosts. Pretty much all of the juniors were in period-inappropriate clothing (because some of those junior parents are dumb as hell, no joke). A group of Hasidic Jews came to observe it. All of a sudden there was an attack from the sky, with bomber planes and stuff. The Hasidic Jews got hit, like everyone else, but they didn't die. I guess this means Hasidism is the one true religion. I had my piano lesson in Noyes Lab, and I was hoping that they had a basement where I could be safe.

Apparently my apartment thinks Talia's apartment is awesome, because it decided to be cold as well. Last night I slept with a sheet, 2 fleece blankets, a down-filled blanket, a quilt, and one of those Vellux blankets that you get in hotels. And I was still freezing. It sucked.

I have the body of an overweight 60-year-old man, because I have kidney stones, sleep apnea, and now I find out I have high cholesterol. I have to visit a dietician. High cholesterol runs in my dad's side, so maybe I'll get some Lipitor or some shit like that.



I've known for a while that I get to go home this Saturday for Thanksgiving break, but it didn't really hit me that it was so soon until I checked the little calendar that you get when you click the time in the system tray. Wow! I can't believe it's so late already. It feels like it should be teh beginning of October still. I'll be glad to go home, even though I was just home last week.

Second day of work. It was so monotonous. I hope it'll be a little better when the store opens. At least I won't have my boss and her husband there, so I can feel free to snark about the clothes. And snark about the clothes I will, because the vast majority are hideous. I would consider buying maybe 2 things in the store. This is mostly good, because then I won't end up wasting my money on clothes all the time, but on the other hand I don't want people associating me with shitty clothes. I'll take their money, though.

So after a soul-crushing day at work, and after still being bummed by "Dancer in the Dark", Talia and I went out and I got a chocolate milkshake, and then bought myself an assload of new clothes (plus some awesome argyle stockings, plus two other pairs of stockings), and then we watched "The Ring" and "Beetlejuice" and pretended it was Halloween. And ate candy. Mwah ha ha ha.

Tomorrow: Homework (although not too much) and more work (although, again, not too much (hopefully)). I hope I can sleep in tomorrow. My body has a thing about getting up early. Because it hates me.



First night of work tonight. Tagged merchandise. Kind of boring. Husband (?) of shop owner: kind of a tool. Just putting that out there for you.

Talia and I watched "Dancer in the Dark" tonight, and then we watched "Mean Girls" in an attempt to mitigate the extreme emotional response to DITD. Didn't work. For me at least. Jeez, I'm so bothered by it.


Quote of the week:
First an explanation. In my conversation class, we're watching a movie called "Les Visiteurs" where an 11th century knight and his ...guy that makes an homage to the knight (ETA: vassal!) get transported to 1992. Hilarity kind of ensues, I guess. Anyway, before they get transported, the count accidentally drinks a magic potion and starts hallucinating. The castle in front of him is changing sizes and stuff. And he says:

"Holy scrotum! It swelleth like a dick!"

This is translated from the French, of course, which makes it that much better.


Check out that dark green spot on my left hip. (My left, not your left.) That's a Ninja Turtle. Made out of sequins. I had a sequined Ninja Turtle swimsuit when I was younger. I rule. In other news, check out how adorable my siblings used to be.

I'm going back to the Settlement this winter. I thought I was done in August. You're never done with NS. I figure I might as well, since I'll be home and they pay pretty well. But ARG. Oh well. Kristin and I will be able to take margarita breaks now, which is always a plus.

I start work this Saturday. Joy of joys. I don't want to work, but I want money. And new clothes. I want free weekends. Actually, I just e-mailed my boss and asked for Friday night + Saturday morning (she's trying to develop a set schedule that would be the same every week). That way I'd have Saturday afternoon, night, and Sunday free, so I could theoretically go home for like a whole 24 hours. But it should be good. I'm looking forward to getting out of the house, and having an excuse to eat a buttload of Thai food (the restaurant is right next to my store).


I'll title this entry "Why we love Sara".

me: I'll title this: "if you want to know what this paper is about, you have two options: 1) read the prompt that you wrote, or 2) read the opening paragraph already."
Sara: I have your title
Sara: How to Wear Jewry

Later on I thought of this: "Precious Jewry: Diamonds in the Rough".


I just spent seriously 40 minutes opening and de-aril-ing a pomegranate. I had to buy it. They're such interesting-looking fruits. My mom advised against buying one, since they're a pain in the ass. I was like "like butt they are" and bought one anyway. God, was she ever right. And now that I'm eating it, it's not even good. The seeds ruin the texture. Maybe next time I'll add another 20 minutes to the prep time and put them in a blender and strain out the seeds and then mix with ice cream and a banana for a smoothie. Nah, too much work. I'll just drink the pomegranate margarita mix my mom got me for my birthday.


I saw Sideways this weekend. I had held off on seeing it because it seemed like something I wouldn't like, but it was actually pretty good.

Cassie got me the best thing ever. First of all, the envelope had stickers of man-parts: a handlebar moustache, a unibrow, a schlong in a thong (a thonged schlong?), and a breast pocket with an ink stain. Second of all, the card had a (cartoon) cameltoe as the W in "George W. Bush". I'm not doing the card justice, but it would take forever to explain it. Third of all, she got me "Commmunists against halitosis" breath spray. Check out these slogans on the package: "Get some Mao Tse Tongue!" "Improve your socialist life." "Available in one loyal flavor--RED." I almost don't want to open the packaging.


I visited the doctor today, and it sucked for so many reasons. I'm in a really bad mood now. Maybe I'll type it out later.


     My sister bought moon boots (like Napoleon Dynamite's). I asked her why, and she said they were to wear on the pool deck so some guy would like her. I laughed and she told me to shut up.
     Rob told me that Rob M. and Josh were both getting married this coming summer, and Rob M. was trying to copyright/trademark something about his ceremony. We shared a good laugh over that one.
     I told this lady her baby was cute when I didn't really think it was, but I wanted to be nice.
     I decided to study abroad in Ireland. I was going to live with this bachelor in his mid-30s, because I had selected the "home stay" option for housing. I watched some BBC.


My hair is really, really soft right now. Really. I love it. And it looks really good, too, despite the fact that I only spent 10 minutes on it today. Yay for me.

I woke up at exactly 7:45 this morning and wondered why my alarm wasn't going off, because that's when it normally goes off. I had it set for 8:45, because my first class isn't until 10 today. It's so weird how I've gotten into the groove so much that I wake up to the exact minute.

I have a presentation tomorrow, and I have to read 270 pages, but then I'm going home because I have a doctor appointment on Friday. I can't wait to go home because I miss my dog.


I am so crazy tired right now, but I am in the middle of a reading marathon. Exactly 100 pages to go...

I just opened this window and immediately forgot what I was going to say.

I remembered: I got a 95.41% on my Structure of the French Language midterm. That's what I wanted to blog about. My grade on a test. I'm so lame. I'm doing amazingly well in my classes for the amount of effort that I'm putting into them. Yay for me.

Here is my potential schedule for next semester. I am taking:
-FR 543 - French Studies - film
-FR 543 - French Studies - versions of America
-FR 479 - Studies in Francophonie - Quebecois literature
-CINE 381 - Black Women & Film
-CINE 247 - Animation
Don't let the IlliNexus thing fool you--that's 15 hours I have, not 13. It's not counting the different sections of 543 as separate classes, which they are. Look at how nice my schedule is--I can wake up at 9 every day, and I don't have any Friday classes. Next semester should be exciting. Wow: I don't have any classes in FLB next semester. I...think I'm going to cry. I will miss FLB, especially after having all of my classes but one in there this semester. I'll have to make special trips to sit in the hallways and read there...sigh. Okay, I'm a loser.


The good:
-I had a $7 beer and a filet mignon for my birthday dinner.
-I got a free mug from Legend's.
-My mom bought me a buttload of booze.
-Tom supplemented the booze.
-Tom stayed over on Saturday night.
-Clocks were moved back.

The bad:
-It gets dark at 5:15 now.
-I only slept for 2.5 hours last night.

The guh:
-I didn't get carded when I ordered a beer at the restaurant.

I had a really, really good weekend. It was much better than I had thought it would be.


-Fr civ exam = sucks
-Job interview = she will e-mail me when she wants me to start :-D
-Linguistics midterm returned = 95%
-Dinner with superintendant = still to come...

     I made out with Zach Braff. He had a golden retriever puppy.
     Rob and I took a trip to Gabon. It was about 80 degrees, but all the leaves had changed color for the fall. There were forests with Greek statues. It was gorgeous.

Dear unconscious: Can I have more making-out-with-Zach-Braff dreams?


I had a shitty piano lesson today. Really shitty. Shitty enough to make me seriously consider quitting for a second time.

Talia is apparently psychic, because she called me and suggested Thai food, which makes anything better.

Tomorrow I have...
-a test
-a job interview
-a steak dinner with the superintendent of my MS/HS district and the namesake of my middle school
-Kristin may or may not be coming, and may or may not bring Avanti's bread

< brain asplodes >

I just registered to a knitting message board so that I could give my two cents on the subject of LYS. For those not in the know (read: you're not cool), it means local yarn shop (store? not sure). And I've been to quite a few in my area, so I like to think that I am extra cool.

Talia and I went out for Chinese food tonight, which was good. And then she took me to Target and watched me eeeeeeeeeeeeeee over like one thousand things, and did it patiently even though she was tired and I was probably annoying her. Maybe she did it because she feels bad that SHE IS MISSING MY BIRTHDAY THIS WEEKEND, not that I'm bitter or anything...

< Insert smiley here. Maybe a winking one would be good. >

P.S. Winky smiley is for Talia. Cause seriously, I'm not bitter or upset or anything.

I have a job interview on Friday, so I'm freaking out about what to wear for that, since it is for a "sales associate" position at a clothing store. I bought a grey cashmere turtleneck, so maybe I will wear that. I hope jeans + nice shoes are okay, because I don't have any nice pants here at school.

I am knitting Glampyre's One Skein Wonder and I am making it long-sleeved. I had some fair isle work on one of the sleeves, but then I decided it looked too tribal-armband-tatto-ish, so I ripped back.

I skipped both of my classes today because someone was in the shower when I wanted to use it, and I would have been late.


     It was Halloween. I put on a bikini and a grass skirt and just walked around the riverwalk by myself.
     Talia said she was going to drive to Boston.
     I saw Catherine O'Hara get stinking drunk at a bar, and I made a reference to her about
A Mighty Wind, but I did it slyly as if I didn't even know that she was in that movie.
     Johnny Depp was dressed as Willy Wonka and greeting people into a theater. Gene Wilder threw on a purple velvet coat and shouted, "The original was much better!" as he walked by. We then got word that there was a sniper in the area, and everyone expected me to give my life to protect Johnny Depp.

The mere thought of practicing Debussy is enough to make me seriously consider quitting piano lessons. I haven't even really practiced it that much, and yet it makes me hate the piano. Arg.


Here's an e-mail I just wrote to Steve of The Sneeze:

Dear Steve,

I am a faithful reader of the Sneeze. Sometimes I think I'm a little too faithful. If you've been getting 40 hits a day from the same IP address, then it's probably me. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm sure you're familiar with blogging memes--they're ubiquitous. I think blogging memes need to get back to basics. The blogging community is lacking the "What did you eat for dinner last night?" meme, "What color is your favorite t-shirt?" meme, and the "My name begins with the letter..." meme. I think you're the man to help me out with my campaign. Just think up some questions--nothing too difficult!--post them on the Sneeze with your answer, tag your favorite bloggers, and learn things you never knew about people!

What do you say?

I took a different sleeping pill last night, and didn't think it was that strong, but my head has been totally fucked up since I woke up this morning. I feel like I'm drunk, but it's nowhere near as fun. I can't talk without getting confused by myself.

Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't understand Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

     I got a call from the doctor, and they said I was 2 months pregnant. I wondered how they knew, since I hadn't had any blood work done recently, or even seen a doctor since August. I figured the baby was Steve's, and told him, and he was amazingly supportive, considering...well, considering everything. My mom called me a whore and threw me out of the house. To console myself, I went to a gas station and bought several sodas, some cinnamon fireball jawbreakers, and a lot of other candy. The gas station attendant (a woman with bleached hair and dark roots) called me "sweetie" and "baby".
     Then we were going over the recent midterm in my linguistics class. My professor asked if we had any comments on the test. I raised my hand and said that I was being nitpicky, but I didn't have enough room to write the answers in some spots. He sighed, and asked if it made me feel good to be so nitpicky. I apologized, but he walked out of the room. He returned a minute later with a baseball and a bat, and then he went outside to my car and started hitting the ball at my windshield over and over again. He then got in his car and started ramming it into my car. I got into mine and backed up and started ramming it into his, hoping that my momentum would lessen the damage to my car and inflict some on his.


     The Settlement turned into a 18th century village. I somehow managed to piss off my mother.
     I started working at Walgreens again, and they scheduled me and Laura for the same shift, so of course we talked a lot. They had four registers ringing at the same time, and it was still really crowded. I didn't get time for a break until 9pm. Our assistant manager left early, and as she was leaving she made a snide comment about how Laura and I suck.

Easily the best part of my night was when Mark and I were talking about metronomically precise sex, and he started chanting, "Put it in, pull it out, put it in, pull it out..."


     I was talking to my conversation TA (a French chick) on AIM, and she revealed that she has a child, but everyone thinks it's her younger brother, and also that her boyfriend-y person was teaching in Wisconsin and she missed him.
     Then I was watching an Illinois/IU women's basketball game, and James Augustine had a girlfriend on IU, so all of the news media were focusing on how it was a conflict of interests for him. Every time she was benched, he would sit and hold her hand and have a dumb closed-mouth smile on his face.
     I had a plate with nacho cheese, salsa, and chocolate sauce, and I was dipping pretzels into all of those and eating them. I kept getting up for more, and then I started adding powdered donuts to the mix.
     Then I started looking at porn where, instead of actual naked parts, they used cacti that looked like boobs or a huge raging boner or some shit.

Midterms = over.

I have permission to take 2 graduate-level courses next semester.

I went to bed at 10:30 last night. It feels good to sleep back like I did when I was in 6th grade. You can bet I'm going to sleep really early tonight, as well.


Three Ben Folds Five songs in a row on my iPod. And somehow I thought this event was meaningful enough to blog.

I've been up for 15 minutes because I need to use the shower. Guess why I can't. Go ahead, I've got time, just guess. BOBBA THE HUTT IS IN THERE. Shit. I need to get in the shower. There better be some hot water left, but there totally won't be. Fuck. Prepare for the coldest shower of my life...

UPDATE: I had to wait for 30 minutes, just so I get cold water. This is ridiculous. I'm going to start dividing the rent and the gas/electric 3 ways, and bitch better pay up.


Damn. I've only written a page and a half since yesterday. I can't hand in a 4.5-page paper. I need at least one more page, preferably two. But on the other hand, I'm sick of this topic and I can't think of anything else to say about it. Arg. This is ridiculous. I'm in a terrible mood and all I want to do is sleep. I think this paper is 50% of my grade for this class, and I don't want to get a B or a B+ or even an A-, because I can do better than that. I'm just having trouble getting motivated and doing stuff. Aaaaaaaaugh. This is a really crappy week.

Yay: 3 pages of Judaism paper written in only a couple hours. Boo: 3 or 4 more pages to go. Yay: I still have stuff to talk about. Boo: I don't like writing opening or closing paragraphs. Yay: I will own this paper. Boo: I am owning this paper at the expense of my Fr Lit reading, my Structure of the Fr Lang homework, my two pieces for piano, and my Ling midterm. And at the expense of my health.

I bought some Nyquil last night and tried to swallow it. Those are friggen HUGE. Bobba the Hutt made fun of me because I couldn't do it. I informed him of my gargantuan tonsil that makes it hard for me to swallow lots of things. He just kind of seemed like, "uh-huh, yeah, sure, I bet...wuss." I don't think Bobba the Butt even sleeps in his own dorm room, which means he's paying money for something he never uses, which means he's wasteful and as long as he has money to be throwing around, he should chip in for rent, too.


I just finished Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. What an amazing book. I don't even know what to say about it. It's probably the best book I've ever read. I need to read it again. It's amazing. I'm really sad now, and I'll probably have a hard time sleeping due to that and the stress I've been under this week. Wow. This book really affected me in so many ways. It's absolutely brilliant.

This link is mostly for Talia


I re-signed up for the Facebook. Talia and I have matching pictures, and I didn't even notice until she said something. Wearing orange and playing the mandolin...that's creepy.

I had a quiz and a midterm today. They both could go either way with respect to grading. I just hope I didn't suck too much. Throat is still sore. Chloraseptic spray still tastes bad. Didn't get too much sleep last night.

Later today I must start my Judaism paper (due Thursday) and read 80 pages for tomorrow. This week is not so awesome so far.

     I went to Rob's house. They had modified their basement to have a swimming pool and a movie-theater-sized screen, so you could watch TV/DVDs while in the pool.


     Talia was playing a Haydn violin concerto (I don't think this particular one exists in real life), and she gave a pre-concert for a test audience. It was my job to stand onstage and turn the music for her. She got this really high trill exactly in tune; like it was the kind of high note where you have to bend your wrist at a really awkward angle and you don't have your thumb so much to anchor your hand to the fingerboard. Anyway, she got it in tune, and while she was playing it she gave me a look that said, "Dear Lord, I got this in tune, but WHY???" Afterwards, we ran into Allie, who was playing a Haydn cello concerto, and we went out for Thai, but Talia and Allie wouldn't let me speak because I wasn't playing a Haydn concerto.

Last night I had a dream that I pissed off Talia in some way. Talia: why are you in every. single. one. of my dreams?

I awoke this morning with a really sore throat, and a feeling like the tonsil in the back of my throat is even more swollen than normal. I feel like I don't even have any room to breathe. I bought a chloraseptic spray (is that what those are called?) and it tastes terrible, and some cough drops, and I'm going to call my ENT doctor on Tuesday (that's the only day she works). Arg.

This week I have 2 midterms, 1 paper, 1 oral exam, and 1 quiz. I'm not worried about the oral or the quiz, but I'm quietly freaking out about the midterms and paper. I'm really hoping that I don't feel even more sick this week than I do right now, cause that would be terrible.

I just got permission to register for a graduate-level French film course. Badass! Next semester will be so boss: I'm only going to take about 14 hours, and I shouldn't have any class on Fridays (unless some weird schedule change happens). I can't wait to register.


     I was giving a presentation in one of my French classes, and Talia came to play a piece on the cello. When she finished, my prof asked, "Quel âge avez-vous?" (How old are you?) and Talia thought she asked, "How long have you been playing?" so she answered, "Douze ans," (twelve years). I corrected her and said, "Elle a dix-huit ans," (she's 18), "et elle joue du cello depuis quinze ans," (and she's been playing for 15 years). Talia got mad at me because she had actually been playing for a total of 17 nonconsecutive years, and I apologized, and she was like, "You should be sorry!"
     Then Nathan and I were signed up for MUS 100 together.
     Then I was going to see
Amélie at a free theater, but it ended up being a feature length production of Michel Gondry's "Junior et sa voix d'or" video for his band Oui Oui. I stayed for a second movie; this one was a monster movie starring Michael Jackson. I had to periodically leave the theater because the monsters (all having MJ's face) were too scary.
     Then I had to babysit some guy's baby. The baby was sweet and cute and all, but I didn't have a stroller or anything, and carrying it was starting to hurt my arms. I was supposed to meet Nathan at a cafeteria for lunch, but I couldn't find him, so I fed the baby peas.


me: i used to toast marshmallows over the menorah
Sara: ok now that's sinful
Sara: sinfully delicious
me: hahahaha
me: ohhh i heart you
Sara: no no
Sara: i heart you

The Beatles - "Tomorrow Never Knows"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaugughghghghghghh this is the best song ever for so many reasons.


I was walking home from the music building after practicing (Mendelssohn OWNS MY LIFE) and I felt like I needed to run. So I got home and put on some running clothes and ran. And it felt really good. The weather was perfect for it.


Garden State 2: Bluegrass State. AKA Elizabethtown.

I really want this hat. Normally I don't really like hats, but this one looks really cute. Really. I wonder if I could make it work.

Also, my ass looks better than Kirsten Dunst's. But we all knew that already.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa cramps. Cramps. Hurting. Hurty cramps. I hate this. I can't wait to come back from class at 3 and take a nice, long nappppppppp. Sleep away the cramps, oh yes.


I threw out your markers because "your" too stupid!

Dear Monthly Girly Thing (thanks Talia): I HATE YOU. I hate the way you make me hurt and all I want to do is curl up in a fetal position, even though I'm already taking two types of medication for you. I might add a third. And, after the 29th, some booze.

Dear Rash-Causing Conditioner (which is pretty much every conditioner on the market): I HATE YOU TOO. Why must I pay such a price for having nice, well-moisturized hair?

Dear Blind Melon: "No Rain" is the best song in the world. Thank you.

Last night I had a dream that I was running in a race. How timely, since the Chicago Marathon was this morning.


I went to the UI Symphony concert, and then Talia and I went for a walk with the intent to get dinner, and then we ended up going to Steak & Shake and I ate a lot of fatty food and then we came back and watched MST3K and I laughed so much that my stomach is sore now!!! And also I got a chocolate milkshake.

"So...Minnesota...that's passive-aggressive."


I wish I hadn't deleted my previous blog. I did so for a really stupid reason, and now I wish I had it back.


I knew I was going to have a crappy day today, so I treated myself to hot chocolate and ice cream in a huge waffle cone. And those made me feel partially better. And I also got 3 compliments today, which was badass. And my mom laughed at the bad dream I had about my sister, which didn't make me feel so good, cause in my dream I was worried about my sister.

I was hoping to lose some weight (~10 lbs.) this school year, since I don't have the constant temptation of 1) soft serve at every meal; 2) hot chocolate, eclairs, and chocolate-covered rice krispy treats at Late Night; 3) fries with nacho cheese; 4) pizza rolls; 5) soda. I've been eating fairly healthy (healthily?)--I eat a lot of fruit every day, and I drink a lot of water and orange juice. I also eat salads fairly often, and of course I'm obsessed with cheese (shredded cheese straight from the bag = the best/easiest snack ever). I need to start running as soon as it becomes NOT SO HOT outside. This winter I might have some surgery where I would be on a liquid diet for several weeks, so I'll probably lose some weight then. But then I'll probably gain it back because my metabolism will take forever to adjust. Oh well. I'm not unhappy with my current body; I just think I would look a little better if I lost 10 lbs.

Cassie sez: take it from me you are perfect!
Dear Cassie: I ♥ you. You know just what to say to make a girl feel good!


Quote of the week from my French Civ prof:
"If you thought learning French was hard, just try learning English! ...Well, you don't have to. Sometimes life treats you well."

Quote of last week from my French Civ prof:
"In 1452, Gutenberg invented the Bible."


Blasts from the past, courtesy of my blog archives:

February 22
me: Question...if you had a kid right now, what would you name it?
Talia: Jesus I-Don't-Know
me: Good answer. I would name mine...KETURA BIXBY.
Talia: [laughs] My ass hurts.

April 4
Justin: Okay, I'm gonna go pee, so you guys have a good night.
Talia, to me afterwards: I like it when people are honest.

     Tom talked to me on the phone and was hinting at the fact that he didn't want to talk to me ever again, although he wouldn't come right out and say it. Then Steve came to campus and was like, "By the way, I still hate you." Then Talia wanted me to watch Varsity Blues and some other movies, but I didn't really want to do anything cause I was feeling so bad. She offered me ice cream. It was that vanilla-with-a-chocolate-swirl ice cream that comes pre-cupped. I accepted. We were back in our dorm room. I tried to sleep through one of the movies, but I couldn't. At 5:30 am we went to a cafeteria place for breakfast. I went home and my dog was crying and then he threw up. My mom yelled at me for not cleaning it up right away.


The weekend rundown:

The good

  • I was able to go home for free, since my dad came to visit on Friday, and for Illini Express every 7th ride is free.
  • I saw Tom.
  • I ate at the Grand Lux Café.
  • I got a new skirt.
  • I saw a couple episodes of Da Ali G Show.

The bad
  • I had to go back to school.
  • I intended to knit some crap for my cousin's babies, and I started like 4 different things, but nothing really interested me.
  • The bus was late and plus it rained sheets, so I got back here pretty late. And someone's wet bags were sitting on mine the entire way.


Am I the only one in the entire internet knitting community who is doing Magknits' Sesame? I swear, every day I Google Blogsearch some combination of the words "Sesame", "Magknits", "cardi[gan]", and "knit", but nothing. A lot of people said it looks cool and they'd consider making it. But no one's actually making it. I like to think of myself as a Sesame pioneer. I hope to finish it by October 14th. That's right, I'm setting a date. Good luck, me.


Three things I should have posted about my sister for her birthday last week:

  • Instead of sucking her thumb, she sucked her first two fingers on her left hand. When she was sleeping (like in the car or in front of the tv or whatever), I would try to pull them out of her mouth. She would resist as much as possible. She was a strong 3-year-old when she was asleep.
  • When she was around 5 or 6, she thought "Vomit" was a perfectly legitimate name for a Barbie dog.
  • She's amazing at puzzles. When she was 7, she had a Rubik's cube. You'd tell her two colors, and a few minutes later she'd have those sides filled in completely. I don't think she had the patience to do the whole thing, although I bet she could have. She's also really good at those games where you have a square grid with tiles, and you have to move them around to get the picture or the sequence of numbers or whatever (like this).

What the fuck? This is my new favorite website.

There's this girl who's in like 3 of my classes and we're kind of friends, and I learned today that she works at the Settlement too. Weird!

I finished Everything Is Illuminated.


Today the carpet cleaning guy came unannounced, and he fucking opened the door to my bedroom without knocking. I was in bed, trying to nap. What a fucker. I hope one day he walks in on something really disturbing (like bukkake). That'll teach him to open doors without knocking. Seriously, what an assmonger.

I treated myself to Thai today. I also treated myself to knitting and reading for pleasure. I am currently knitting the Sesame cardigan from MagKnits, but in a different color scheme and a different stripe pattern. My color scheme is much more ugly 70s, which I think seems to fit for the style. I'm not saying the pattern is ugly 70s, but you know what I mean, right? It reminds me of something that my mom would have worn in college. I like this pattern.

I'm almost done with Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. I want to see the movie.


I only have 120 pages to read for tomorrow. Only! I was happy about this, and then I realized that relativity is such a bitch.


On a scale of one to Spanish, this weekend was muy bueno. (Thanks to Mike T. [I never know the rules about putting people's full names in here] for that, btw.)

The good:

  • I saw Tom a lot.
  • I went to Ikea.
  • I knit some more fairisle stuff, namely hats for my cousin's babies, although I might have to rip it, because who knows how big the babies' heads are.
  • I ate a lot of really good food with Tom.

The bad:
  • My parents are apparently starting the Polley Family Collection Agency. I think my dad has ties to the Russian mafia.
  • I didn't get any homework done.
  • Rain makes for headaches.


Yesterday I went into homework lockdown, and I amazingly managed to get it all done. I'm done with my preliminary research on medicine during the Middle Ages/Renaissance, presentation on La Provence, quiz, busy work, and more busy work (of which I did the wrong chapter and had to re-do it). I'm going home later today. I hope my mom will take me to the Renegade Craft Fair tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting a lot of reading (pleasure) done on the bus.


This is pretty much the stupidest thing I've read all week.


My brain feels like it's going to explode. That's not my way of saying that I did too much thinking or anything; my head really hurts, and it feels like my brain is getting really big and pressing against my skull. Ow.

     I got a black cat. I named him Tickles. My mom came to my apartment and was putting groceries in my fridge and she was like, "Is it itchy in here, or just me?" For some reason, my allergic reaction to the cat was delayed by a day, but I had to return him. Talia had to drive me to the mall pet store, but first she wanted to stop at Barnes & Noble. Tickles peed all over the carpet, and some old lady bitched me out, even though I was cleaning it up. Serves them right for not having litterboxes available. Talia went to the cafe upstairs and was eating waffles. An hour later she wasn't ready to go, and I was like, "Dude, I'll just walk to the mall because I need to get there before they close," and her mouth was full of waffles and whipped cream so she just bugged her eyes and nodded at me.
     Then Nathan (piano teacher) and I talked a lot on AIM at really odd hours, like 4:30 am and stuff.
     Then I made plans to sponsor a child who was supposed to be born with her hand in her stomach. Dr. Cox (from
Scrubs) was the one delivering the baby. After it was born, I saw it, except it was like a 7-year-old child who could talk and stuff. And her hand wasn't in her stomach. And her parents were suburban. I needed to go to the mall yet again so I could cancel my sponsorship. I wandered into a department store shoe clearance area, and was trying lots of pairs on, but didn't buy anything. Allen was one of the salespeople in the department store, and he was happy to see me. By the time I got everything straightened out, it was dark and I had to walk home all the way from the mall. I ran into Eve (lady from work) and she gave me a ride in her huge green Murano.


Today is my sister's birthday, so I will list some things about her:

  • Before she was born, my brother and I had a bet whether the new baby would be a boy or girl. I won. My brother is famous for quipping, "You were right, I was wrong."
  • She spit up a lot as a baby.
  • When she was just learning how to stand up, my brother and I would shout, "Baby coming down the runway!" and push her down. She would laugh her little baby ass off.
  • While she was in the playpen, we'd play this game where you put your hand on the mesh wall, and she'd put her hand against yours, and you'd move your hand and she'd move hers, and so on.
  • My brother and I called her chubby all the time when she was little. Amazingly, she doesn't have any sort of complex about this (at least, so far as I can tell.)
  • She used to tell people that she wanted to be a model, a realtor, and a mom when she grew up (she wanted to be all three of those at the same time).
  • She had a buttload of hats when she was like 3.
  • We used to call her Miss Win, and then Winnie. Now I just call her Win. My dad tells me not to, because "Erin is such a pretty name".
  • She's the only one of the kids (I'm counting the dog as a kid, shut up) whose first name doesn't start with K. But her middle name starts with K, so I guess that's alright.
  • If she had been born a boy, her name would have been Colin.
  • My mom used to make a pun on "Erin go braugh" and say, "Erin go bra-less!"
  • Erin's the most easygoing person I know. Growing up, she took so much shit from me and Kevin, and now she doesn't let anything bother her, which I think is a really admirable trait (and the exact opposite of me).
  • She is 16 today, so she'll be getting her license any day now. Watch out for a black 1998 Accord.
  • Erin's and my legs are about the same length, but she's 5'10" and I'm only 5'2".
  • A couple years ago, Erin and I went to Best Buy. I was talking to Rob, and then one of Rob's co-workers came up. After Erin and I left, the co-worker told Rob that he thought Erin was hot. Rob replied that Erin was only 13/14 (I don't remember when this story occurred).
  • She used to play The Sims. Haha, dork. Okay, I used to play it too.
  • When she was little, she had a white stuffed dog that she named Dogga.
  • There's a really hilarious home video taken around Christmastime, where I'm about 7 or 8, Kevin's 5ish, and Erin's 3. We're all dancing to the American Graffiti soundtrack, and then Erin gets right in front of the camera, lifts her shirt up to her neck, and starts hitting her stomach. We watched this a few months ago and she laughed so hard she was crying. I can't wait until she gets engaged/married so I can show that to her fiancé/husband.
  • She obviously looks up to her older sister, because she's taking her second year of French in HS.
  • She can draw and paint really well.

UPDATE: Erin said, "hahahhaha that made me laugh so hard. THANK YOU!!! i loved it"

     I went to Talia's house for dinner. Their house was almost entirely underground. I even met her sister (who lives in a vortex). Erica (sister) made up a nickname for me that sounded rather babyish, like "Bibi" or something. Everyone started calling me that because Erica is very artistic (in many domains). Her mom took everyone's blood pressure in the middle of dinner, but she put the cuff around my wrist, and everyone got mad when I tried to move it. I made a joke that if Talia did such-and-such thing to annoy me, I'd cut off her hair, and she took that as serious advice that her hair would look better shorter. Her parents looked at me like I was insane, and I generally felt pretty unwelcome.
     Then I went on three blind dates, all with guys who were older and unattractive.
     Then I went back to Talia's house, and we were going to play a weird variety of poker where each person has 25 cards in his hand. I had 4 tens. Talia's grandma was supposed to be a poker pro. Talia's dad didn't look the way he normally did; he was taller and burlier. He had magical powers--he turned my 5 of spades into a pea, and then he laughed that he knew one of my cards. (Cheater.) Talia's grandpa came in from the pool, wearing a speedo, and sat down next to me. The grandpa had a 17-year-old girlfriend who rode a zebra. The zebra had striped wings and also magical powers pertaining to water. Talia and I wanted to watch
The Nightmare Before Christmas but her parents made us play poker. Then her dad got into some digression about how he never said Talia's mom was skinny, but rather he had always thought she was curvy in all the right places. Talia's mom's eyes were welling up with tears, and Talia looked at me and mouthed, "I. KNOW." and gave me a frowl.

"Starman" covered by Seu Jorge. Ever since the trailers for "The Life Aquatic" came out, more than anything I'd wanted to know what that song was. I couldn't find it anywhere. I got the soundtrack, hoping for it to be on there. I was disappointed that it wasn't. A couple days ago, I actually listened to the soundtrack all the way through and finally found it. Now I play it all the time. It has such an innocent feel to it.

Talia's right. This environment is so much better than last year's, because I can discover for myself new music and new artists and judge them solely how on they make me feel. With the dorms, and especially with the type of people who were in my dorm last year, you couldn't suggest any new music to anyone, because by default they had been aware of this artist since the beginning, and had already deemed them "meh" or "the most amazing band ever". Why does that matter to me, what other people thought of my new discovery? I thought it wouldn't. Maybe it was just the fact that these people (some of whom were my friends) thought I was less cool for not knowing about such-and-such whatever band in 1997. It made me want to make up band names to see if they pretended to be know-it-alls on everything just to appear cool.

New favorite song: Arm Over Denver - "Sleeping Next to You"

I slept pretty well last night, but I think I took an Ambien. I'm really groggy right now, and debated for a zillion minutes whether or not I should even go to class. I really don't want to. 5 hours in FLB with an hour for a break. Not my idea of a good time. Usually, once I'm in class, I don't mind being there. I hate getting there, and the thought of being there. How is it 8:27 already? I want to crawl back into bed and go to sleep. I can't wait until 3pm so I can do that.


I have 8 new freckles on my upper arm that all radiate out from a bugbite of some sort. Odd.

So earlier I took the garbage bag out of the garbage can, but I just set it next to the can because I didn't have time to take it all downstairs. Some vaguely yellowish liquid seeped out all over the kitchen floor. It smelled like dirty diapers and vinegar, and it was probably about 15 minutes before I could clean it up--the smell made me that sick to my stomach. So I Fantastiked the hell out of the kitchen and took the garbage downstairs. I also used some air freshener, but it still smells terrible. For like half a second I wondered if Jessie had a cat that she wasn't telling me about, because I've heard that cat piss is the most vile thing you'll ever smell. But she's had her door open and I haven't seen a cat wandering around or anything, plus my allergies have not been too incredibly terrible. I wonder what the hell that smell/liquid was and where it came from.

Meijer was having a sale on orange juice and raspberry lemonade, so now I have all the beverages I could ever want. It's good until the end of October, so maybe I'll save some until I can buy some vodka, and then I'll have screwdrivers galore. I love screwdrivers.

Tom will be here in 2 hours and 15 minutes.

I just re-read this entry, and I use the word "so" a lot.


I slept pretty much like a normal person last night. I guess the secret to halfway decent sleep is to not sleep at all the night before. Good plan.

Talia and I are going to get Potbelly's and watch Best in Show in roughly 5 hours. I can't wait. "We could talk or not talk forever...and still find things to not talk about."


I slept for a grand total of 45 minutes last night. That makes me hate life. But I had another dream about Zach Braff. That makes me think life is not so bad.


I am so fucking stressed out right now. But that's okay; I didn't really need to sleep tonight anyway...

I realized that I'm not one of those sympathetic people that solves everything with hugs. I mean, I'll be sympathetic (kind of), but absolutely no platonic hugs. Ever. I'm also opposed to, "I'll always be here for you," or, "You mean so much to me," or other platonic shows of emotion. I don't do the whole platonic-love thing. This makes me feel like a bad friend sometimes, when I see other people doing the platonic-love thing, but really it's not my style. And I couldn't do it well. And it would just kind of weird me out.


Talia and I bitched about our respective sucky Mondays, and then we watched 2 episodes of Arrested Development. Ahhh stress relief. To bastardize an already-dumb phrase: Arrested Development, Scrubs, and Curb Your Enthusiasm are proof that there is a God, and He wants us to be happy.

Computer is finally fixed. It's been broken since the beginning of September.

Last night I took an Ambien (prescribed by my Dr here) and it didn't work. I was in bed by midnight, but I was still awake at 5:30. That sucked really bad.


My newest favorite album ever: Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs by Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire


     Zach Braff, and not Zachary Ty Bryan, was the actor who played the oldest son on "Home Improvement." Zach Braff and I were sitting in the back of a blue Toyota (an old one), and he was just wearing boxers and emo glasses, and I was sitting on his lap.


Last night I read more of Everything is Illuminated instead of doing homework. Here are some good lines to make you want to read it:
"I have an aristocratic smile and like to punch people." (This reminds me of the Real Ultimate Power site.)
"In truth I was manufacturing a brick wall of shits."
"Grandfather kicked the stop pedal, and my face gave a high-five to the front window."
Those were all spoken by Alex, one of the narrators. He's a translator living in Ukraine.


Today I finished A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. It was so amazingly good, and I'm kind of embarrassed that it took me a month and a half to read. So good. I started Everything is Illuminated tonight by Jonathan Safran Foer, and the preface is really funny. Everyone should read it. I haven't read much past that because I have a buttload of other stuff to read for class. Reading is my life.

I am disappointed to find out that in the new film Green Street Hooligans, Elijah Wood plays an American character. I wanted to see him do an accent. The EW-bad-accent quota was actually not met during a screening of all three LOTR films, contrary to popular belief. Now that I think about it, I would love to watch Elijah Wood doing a balls-to-the-wall Scottish accent. Like, I-can't-understand-the-first-20-minutes-of-Trainspotting Scottish accent. That would be funny.

The UPS in this town must employ the stupidest delivery men ever. Apparently the guy came 5 times to my building to deliver some computer parts, and each time he buzzed 501 (I'm 401). FedEx, which was ordered at the same time by Toshiba, had no problem finding my place. Today we got a UPS guy buzzing our apartment looking for someone named Tristan. Dear UPS: It might help if your delivery people can identify Arabic numerals.


Let's just make sure I blog 18 times today. Not 16, not 17. 18.

Anyway, the inspiration: Christopher Guest's new movie.

So I woke up at 5 am to leave at 5:30 (as posted previously), and I definitely forgot to eat anything until 11 pm. All I had to eat today? Were some of those chocolate-covered PB pretzels. But now I am eating pasta so all is good.

An incomplete list of things I got at Trader Joe's (a.k.a. an incomplete list of things that would make Talia jealous if she hadn't gone to TJ's last week)
-chocolate-covered peanut butter pretzels
-gummy fruit wedges
-citrus shampoo and conditioner
-onion soup
-marinated fresh mozzarella

Edited to add: My mom made me a loaf of pumpkin bread.

I left this morning at 5:30 am to drive from home to school. It was not awesome. I got 2 hours of sleep. I can't wait until after 3:30ish so I can take a nap. Stupid class.

I was told today that I have "old school movie star" lips. Cool.


     I met Stee of TWOP's Pamie & Stee fame. I had long hair.

I dropped my cinema studies course and added a linguistics course. I think I'm going to stay for the full four years (instead of just 3 like I was planning) and be a linguistics/French double major. Talia: next year let's either 1) be flatmates, or 2) get singles in the same building (like the one you are living in now).



     I was still in high school. Some fashion magazine sponsored a contest to find the prettiest girl in school. My name was one of five on the ballot. I won. My prize was that everyone who voted for me had to pay me $1. Sam Williams voted for someone on the basis of "best handwriting". I was acquaintances with Beck, although I wanted to be friends with him. This one ugly and socially awkward guy kept trying to set up dates with me and finally I said, "I don't find even one part of you attractive in the slightest."


     Nathan (piano teacher) played violin for me, and he was more proficient than I am/was. I also had the opportunity to pet a bunny.

My motherboard is fried, apparently. It was replaced in February. Toshiba sucks; don't ever buy a Toshiba. The Satellite Pro series overheats way too easily, I've found (this has been supported by others). I can't wait until I get enough money to buy a new computer.


Some bitch that I was supposed to do a small project with dropped my advanced oral class. Now there are 4 of us.

I really want to drop my lit class. Really. But I can't. And I won't.

The amount of frustration I have is directly proportional to how much I want to crawl into bed and just sleep. I'm worrying about getting all my schoolwork done and also all the medical shit that's been going on, and now my computer's broken for I think the third time in the past 3 months. Tomorrow I'm going to call Toshiba's customer service and complain to them and see if they'll give me a new computer, since it's costing them money for my computer to keep getting repaired (due to a warranty). I'm so frustrated about everything and I'm freaking out and no one really has the time to listen because they're doing their own things. I don't want to be in school. It's only been a week and already I'm burned out. I can't concentrate on my reading. I hate it. I want to go home. I'm hungry all the time and I have almost no food here and it's 45-60 min each way just to the grocery store, and I don't have time to go there, and I keep spending money on food, and whatever I eat is not enough. I'm so burned out. I'm so tired. I nap every day, but one nap isn't enough. On Monday I took 2 naps, and I'm dangerously close to taking 2 naps today, despite the fact that I slept for 3 hours earlier. I hate this.

     It was mainly a clusterfuck of camp, American Idol, and a UIUC basketball game. Jude Law and Uma Thurman were there. Uma Thurman came up to me and started chatting and she seemed interested in everything I was saying. I later found out that she and I were going to do a movie together, and I was really excited.


I need to stop spending so much money on entertainment. Here is what I bought tonight:
The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema
Of Montreal - Aldhils Arboretum
Of Montreal - The Sunlandic Twins
Of Montreal - Coquelicot Asleep in the Poppies: A Variety of Whimsical Verse
How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship, & Musical Theater by Marc Acito
Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology by Eric Brende
Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer (this was made into a movie, which comes out next month I think)
Superstud, or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin by Paul Feig (creator of the TV show Freaks and Geeks)


My ass and hips are sore as hell, and I don't know why. That's all I wanted to say; now I'm going to read ~230 pages for Fr lit.

     I got a bee sting on my cheek. My face started getting red and swelling up. I went to the nurse's office (because I was in a high school or something) and asked for Benadryl, and they said there was no way I was allergic to bee stings, despite my now huge face. As punishment for wasting their time, I had to do a presentation on what it means when people are allergic to bee stings and how their bodies react. It was also yearbook photo day, and they made me get my picture taken anyway.
     Then I was playing keyboards for Fergie's (from Black Eyed Peas) solo project tour. We were in a big auditorium and I knew probably 75% of the people. I messed up in one spot, but no one noticed.
     Then I was on the set of LOTR because I had a small role. It was lunch break time and I was hanging out with Sean Astin, and I started getting confused as to whether his real name was Sam or Sean.


Quick update:
Talia and I ate at Steak 'N Shake, and then we bought matching Yellow Submarine t-shirts.


     I had to meet Tom's mom. She was beautiful and didn't look a day over 26. I felt really threatened, because I was convinced that she was really his girlfriend and he was cheating on her with me.
     Rob moved into my old house in West Lafayette. I had to work on a science project with him, but I got annoyed because he wouldn't work on it. Instead, he was trying to set up a naked wrestling league where his friends would wrestle against girls from a local sorority. I got mad at Rob and I totally called him out for slacking off, and his mom bitched me out and kicked me out of the house. I had to call my mom to pick me up, and she charged me for the gas money.


My second dream about Johnny Depp in less than 12 hours:
     I was in a department store. My mom had given me money to buy shoes and a dress for my cousin's wedding. I grew dizzy and passed out. When I came to, Johnny Depp was kind of crouching over me, taking my heart rate. He called the paramedics. When they left, he stayed with me, helped me finish shopping, and even took me home. I didn't want to let on that I knew who he was, so I thought about making some comment about a large Samoan lawyer and seeing if he reacted, but I couldn't think of anything clever and subtle enough. Johnny Depp and I started dating. He had not quite a beard, not quite a 5 o'clock shadow. He also had shoulder-length hair, and while normally I abhor long hair on men, he looked really hot with it.

Dream fragment:
     Johnny Depp and I were hanging out at my house. He was wearing his costume from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and he was bitching about the heels. I was like, "Novel concept? Don't wear them."
I know there was more that went on in my dream, because I woke up around 4 wondering if I could remember it all in the morning, or if I should get up and write it down then. I wish I had gotten up then. I woke up every 10 minutes last night, because my A/C unit is really loud. Shut up, A/C unit.


I remember actually liking Jesse Camp. Was I the only one? Leave a comment.


Latest archive obsession: Shitty Blogs

There are? Seriously? Six other people in my advanced oral French class. And I don't know a single one of them. My TA's English is in a very BBC accent. It's funny.

I knew a few people in my civ class. I had the professor fall semester last year, and he's kind of a tool. This is a fact confirmed by another girl in my class.


     Kristin and I still had two more weeks of camp left. The kids were really getting on my nerves, and I threatened to smack two of them. Then Kristin and I were going to go to a concert, and we needed to get to the train station. One of the ladies at work lent us a car, but it turned out it was stolen. I was really scared the cops would catch us, especially since I did a U-turn at a high speed on the interstate.

Class starts tomorrow. I'll be excited to have something to do, instead of just sitting around in my room all day, but I know that I'd rather sit around and/or sleep than go to class and do stuff. My skin looks gross--I have a bunch of pimples on my forehead, and my pores are huge. I hate the way my chin looks.


Erin, let's trade genes, okay?


I was walking along Green Street to get to Potbelly's today, and I saw that we are going to get a Chipotle and a Noodles & Co. I officially do not need to cook at all.

If I titled my entries, I would title this one Meme-Ganker.

I saw in Talia's blog she did the 100 Things About Me meme. And I read through all 100 things and contemplated some of them (Pony club?!?!). Now I want to do my own and hope that somewhere, someone reads it.

1. I've spent my entire life in the midwest.
2. The farthest north I've ever been is Paris. The farthest west is Austin, TX. The farthest east is Rome. The farthest south is some Caribbean island.
3. I spent much of my childhood in West Lafayette, IN, home of Purdue University.
4. Many of my friends' parents were professors.
5. My best friend was Nadia, and she was half-Lebanese. Her dad was a professor of computer engineering or something.
6. I remember being amazed when I saw her dad had written and published a textbook.
7. I used to play this really fun game on Nadia's dad's laptop where you try to take pictures of dinosaurs.
8. The rest of my formative years have been spent in the western suburbs of Chicago.
9. I lived in Geneva (IL, not Switzerland) for 6 months. I went to school there for 4 weeks at the end of the year, and then it was summer. I had no friends there.
10. In 8th grade I started at a new (for me) middle school. I was on the smart "team", so all my classes were with the same 11 people.
11. I still kind of keep in touch with one of those people. That is to say, I consider her a friend but I haven't talked to her since school got out in May. Oops.
12. I have a brother and a sister and I am very selfish. I do not like sharing my stuff. It irritates me when people touch my things.
13. I am currently kind of dating a guy whose grandfather was the namesake of the middle school mentioned in #10.
14. I've been to the namesake's house, and done many an odd thing there.
15. I am the shortest one in my nuclear family.
16. I might also be the palest. My mom is pale, but she has freckles all over, so I don't know what that counts for.
17. My dad is Jewish.
18. My dad's mom was Polish, and my dad's dad was Russian.
19. I like vodka. A lot.
20. My mom is Lutheran.
21. I was raised Lutheran.
22. I am now kind of my own half-assed breed of Protestantism. I have my own beliefs, but I am largely turned off by organized religion, although not for the reasons most people are. It seems that Protestantism has tried to "update" its public perception, with rock bands instead of organs and lyrics on overhead projectors instead of hymnals. I don't need to be told how Jesus is cool for teens today, thanks.
23. It's Nadia's (mentioned earlier) fault that I'm a big Beatles fan.
24. My favorite Beatles album is probably Revolver.
25. My favorite Beatles movie is Yellow Submarine.
26. I bought Radiohead's OK Computer back when Paranoid Android first came out, but I never listened to it beyond PA and Karma Police.
27. A few years ago I listened to OK Computer and I now realize what an amazing album it is.
28. Radiohead is tied with the Beatles for my favorite band ever.
29. I was in Girl Scouts from kindergarten until 8th grade.
30. I did the silver award project, but I never earned my silver award because I was too lazy to do the required badgework.
31. I did tap dance from when I was 3 until when I was 12 or 13.
32. I did Irish dance for a year and a half.
33. I started playing piano in 2nd grade. I consider this one of the best things my parents ever made me do, even though I hated it at the time.
34. I started playing violin in 4th grade.
35. My parents told me they couldn't afford to rent a musical instrument, but I signed up for orchestra behind their backs, and then they had to let me.
36. I chose the violin because that's what Nadia wanted to play.
37. I quit piano in 8th grade, after we had moved to the Chicago suburbs, because I hated the new piano teacher.
38. I consider quitting piano to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done.
39. I started taking piano lessons again last January.
40. I played softball from first grade until 9th grade.
41. I tried out for the team in 10th grade, but did not make it.
42. I played 2nd base, shortstop, and 3rd base.
43. I can still throw fairly hard and fairly accurately.
44. I ran cross country in 7th and 8th grade, and all the way through high school.
45. My best mile time ever is 6:54. I got this in 7th or 8th grade in a race. It was the first mile of two and a half in that race.
46. I feel very guilty now that I don't run daily.
47. I've pretty much had a steady boyfriend since October 29, 1999. There have been probably 7 non-consecutive months since then that I have been single.
48. A lot of my self-worth is based on whether I currently have a boyfriend or not. I know that this is very messed up, and I would like to change it.
49. I am now in the second of two long-distance relationships.
50. All the guys I have ever dated (a total of 4) have been over 6'.
51. I am now used to the height difference, and it does not bother me.
52. I love the city of Chicago, and I can't imagine ever living very far away from it.
53. I study French, but I suck at speaking it.
54. I am decent at reading, writing, and listening.
55. I wish I had more time to learn other languages.
56. I took 2 semesters of German.
57. My favorite color is green.
58. I think I am starting to become more attractive. I now know how to do up my hair all nice, at least.
59. I was a huge nerd all throughout elementary school, middle school, and pretty much high school. (But who doesn't say that?)
60. I was very sheltered as a child.
61. I've never smoked, be it cigarettes or pot.
62. I didn't start drinking until I got to college.
63. I used to think that, for sex, the man just lay on top of the woman. I did not know that thrusting was necessary. I learned about the thrusting part probably in 8th or 9th grade.
64. In 9th grade, I was on a bus with the cross country team, on our way to a meet. A guy drove up; he wasn't wearing any pants and he was masturbating. That was the first time I'd ever seen a naked man. I felt very dirty for several weeks after that.
65. I keep a lot of secrets from my parents because I think they think I'm very, very ...not "good" per se, but moral. I don't know if they really think that, though. I would like to find out what my parents think I've done.
66. I have had a myriad of doctor appointments in the past year to figure out what is wrong with me.
67. I saw a doctor this past Tuesday who gave me some very sobering news.
68. Sometimes I secretly want something to be wrong with me so I can be special and people will feel pity for me.
69. Other times I think that if/when I find out that something is really wrong with me, I will keep it a secret because I do not want the pity.
70. I've ridden on a motorcycle once. We went 25 mph, and I was scared for my life. I did not wear a helmet.
71. I always wear a seatbelt.
72. I share a 1998 Honda Accord (black) with my brother (and soon my sister), and I love that car. I think my first car will be a Civic, or an Accord if I can afford one.
73. I've only had two "real" jobs.
74. I worked as a violin tutor for a while, and got paid for it, but I do not consider that to be a real job, mostly because I only did it for a few hours each week.
75. I was a "beauty advisor" at Walgreens, though I knew (and know) very little about makeup.
76. I worked two summers at Naper Settlement as a camp counselor.
77. I used to volunteer in the mansion at NS.
78. I can give decent-to-good tours in every building on the grounds.
79. When I used to dress up in my 1870s tea dress for the mansion, little girls would tell me that I looked like a princess. I loved this.
80. Pringles, Vienna Beef hot dogs, and Pepsi all make me think of my Grandma Dorothy.
81. I never really knew my Grandpa Seymour.
82. My mom's parents are divorced.
83. I see my Grandma Mary fairly often.
84. I rarely see my Grandpa Bill and his wife, Norma ("Grams"). My mom tells me that he was a huge jerk, and so now I do not like him at all.
85. My mom once told me that if I got pregnant at a young age, she couldn't be too disappointed because she misses having babies around the house.
86. I don't know if I could hold her to this, or if she would behave differently if I had a baby.
87. At this point, I think I would get an abortion over having a baby. I don't know if that makes me a terrible person, but I don't think it does. I think it just makes me selfish.
88. I will probably have kids when I am older, have a secure source of income, and am married.
89. I do not drink soda unless I'm at a restaurant.
90. I hold naps dear.
91. When I was little, I used to throw myself on my bed and cry because I wanted to own a dog and my parents wouldn't buy one for me.
92. We bought a dog 7 years ago (I think). Here are two pictures of him.
93. I am very, very allergic to cats. I cannot spend more than 5 minutes in a house where a cat lives, lest I get hives, swell up, and fall asleep for over 12 hours.
94. My brother once asked me if the bump on my nose had come from me breaking it and not getting it set properly. I have never broken my nose. The ENT doctor asked me the same thing last week.
95. I wish my hair was naturally very dark brown.
96. I wore braces for about 4 years. I still have a permanent retainer glued to my bottom teeth.
97. I never wear lipstick or lip gloss. I think my lips look ridiculous with it.
98. I hate country music.
99. I love people-watching. I love to invent a complete biography for a person based solely on what they're wearing or one thing I overheard them say.
100. I suck ass at miniature golf.


This was one of the longest-ass days I've had in a long while. I think back to 12 hours ago and I can't believe I'm still in the same day. I worked this morning, ran around and tried to pack stuff, packed the car, ran some errands with my ma, drove down to campus, unpacked like a motherfucker, drove around with my ma to find a hotel (cause she didn't want to drive back in the dark) (and jeez did it take us forever to find a hotel cause they were all full), ate at Steak 'n Shake, shopped at Target, did some more unpacking, and now here I am. Tomorrow I will eat breakfast with my mom, get some groceries, get my textbooks, eat at Potbelly's, and take a nappppppppppppppppppppp. Indeed.


Campus. Tomorrow.


I spend the entire first 3/4ths of the summer wanting to go back. Waiting, wanting, wishing... And then I meet a boy. And things change. And suddenly I don't want to go back to school. And so I don't pack. And I don't pack. And I don't pack. And here I am, 12 hours before I leave, running around and trying to get everything in order. Why didn't I learn my lesson last year? I promise I'm not doomed to repeat history's mistakes, though.

Today was a good day, though. I may or may not have drunk spiked lemonade on the clock. It may or may not have happened multiple times. I spent nearly 7 hours with Tom after work.

This might have been my last summer in Naperville. It was definitely my last summer at Naper Settlement. I don't know what to say. I feel like I should have some more thoughts, but I don't. Yet. All I can say is that this summer went by really quickly. I don't know if I'm ready to go back to class yet.


I went to a new doctor today.
The good: I don't have sleep apnea anymore.
The bad: I have surgery in my future. Jaw-breaking, liquid-diet surgery.
The ugly: I don't even want to talk about it.

Dream fragment:
     Steve became a movie star, and I saw him on TV on the red carpet for some awards show.

Sometimes the iPod/iTunes shuffle freaks me out. Just now I was listening to Moby's "Look Back In" and then the next song was the Kinks' "No More Looking Back". Look back in. No more looking back. The only thing that could have made that better is if the first song was "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis. A year ago I was listening to "A Storm Is Coming" from one of the LOTR soundtracks, and then the very next song was "The Storm" by Gaelic Storm. I swear it does this on purpose to make me paranoid.


Beck is coming to Chicago. Unfortunately, he'll be here on Tuesday and Wednesday nights (9/20 and 9/21). I wonder if I could get Tuesday tickets and then just miss my 10am on Wednesday. That would be incredible.


I like shirts with 3/4-length sleeves. I like shirts with V-necks. I do not like shirts with 3/4-length sleeves and V-necks. I wonder why.

I went shopping today and got some shirts and 3 pairs of jeans. I needed jeans. Jeans are awesome. I also got a FM transmitter for my iPod, so now I can play my iPod in the car or through a stereo. Or...or...I bet I could hook it up so that I could set my alarm clock and wake up to my iPod. I wonder if the iPod has a feature where it will start playing at a certain time. Note to self: look into this.



Last day of camp EVER. I wish I could drink to the occasion.


I held my own at pool tonight, which was unprecedented but so choice.

Rob says, " No offense or anything, but against who? I'm having a tough time imagining you as the consummate pool shark... "

Against Tom. And I didn't say I kicked his ass. I said I held my own, meaning I wasn't embarrassed by the way I played. And I also said it was unprecedented, meaning I didn't expect myself to not completely suck.


     I was in a remedial French grammar class, where we had to explain stuff like the passé composé and the difference between tu and vous. It sucked, bad.


     Justin (UIUC Justin, not HS Justin) and I were stowaways on a ship that was taking a bunch of music majors to Nepal for a few days. They were going to kick us off, but then Nathan (piano teacher) vouched for my coolness. He called me "Fermata" as a nickname.


I've had a personals ad on Craig's List for two and a half weeks now. I mostly put it on for the hell of it, to see what responses I got. I figured it might be fun and I might go out a couple times, but I really didn't expect to meet anyone good from it. It's been a really interesting experience getting all those e-mails, though. I estimate I've gotten around 25-30. Some guys were interesting and I exchanged several e-mails, but then we just kind of stopped talking. No worries. Some guys were in their 30s, which was creepy and weird because I specifically mentioned that I'm 20. One guy got offended that I didn't comment on his picture, that I didn't say that he was a "total hotty" or whatever stupid thing. Dude had longass hair, longer than mine's ever been, and he clearly didn't condition. And he didn't shave either. And he was pasty. But like...who's that self-conscious that you need a complete stranger, one person out of billions, someone who's seen but one picture of you, to tell you that you're hot? I know that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. And I'm chill about it.

I got a new one tonight. This was creepy. It was a fucking 40 page manifesto. The second sentence included, "I'm seven inches cut." Um, guh? We're one sentence into this and then I learn about your penis? No sir. He also goes on to say that he enjoys very kinky sex. He also included a list of things I absolutely cannot do while I'm in a relationship with him, and one of those was that I cannot disagree with him. If his friends and he and I are having a conversation on abortion, I can't agree with his friends and disagree with him. His picture looked like a mugshot. His e-mail was so long and disjointed, and I didn't even read the whole thing. I did send him an e-mail back saying stuff that turned me off, and that maybe he should change it so as not to turn future girls off. I tried to be nice in the e-mail, but I have no idea if he'll take it like that. Oh well. He was really creepy.