Today I found out that Kathryn Erbe, the actress who plays Detective Eames on L&O:CI, played Dr. Marvin's daughter in What About Bob? When I ponder the meaning of life, as I so often do, it's things like this that lead me to some sort of concrete answer.

Last summer I was really excited about the release of a bunch of albums--Ben Folds, Beck, The White Stripes, Coldplay, Weezer...there might have been more. So far this summer I only know of The Flaming Lips' new one (which I have but haven't yet listened to) and Grandaddy's, which is I guess their last album ever. Any other good summer releases scheduled?


     Talia asked me to play cello with her as accompaniment for a singer doing "Ave Maria". I hadn't tightened my bow in time, so I was still doing that as the piece started. It was a really strange arrangement, where there were no measures, so I couldn't figure out where we were based on the beat. When I finally did figure out where we were (thanks to switching from pizz to arco), I had trouble using the right amount of pressure for the bow on the right part of the string, so I kept squeaking. I gave up and air-bowed. Afterwards, Talia told me that her orchestra friends were mad at her for inviting me to play.


I stepped on the scale the other day and discovered I'd lost 20lbs. since February. That's why my jeans are so loose.

I visited my doctor today, got some disgusting pictures of my tongue and throat, and will be having surgery on June 5th.


My "yay for me" moment of the week:
There was a pair of pants that I had loved, but as of October I was too big to wear. I tried them on on Wednesday, and they're looser on me than I remembered them being when I was in the height of the I-love-these-pants-ness. Now that I'm at home, I need to make sure that I don't fall into the trap of eating the ridiculous snack foods that so often find their way into our kitchen. I need to keep running.

On being home for the summer: what that means entirely, I'm not sure yet. It depends on if I get a job here and how soon I'm able to get surgery. If I don't have a job and I get my surgery done by the middle or end of June, I'll probably move back to school early and try to find a job there.


     I was casually kissing Gareth from The Office (the UK version, obviously). He was getting more and more excited, and finally said, "I can't believe you're going to be my first!" I was like, "Say what?" And left. I went to an old library, where a Sarah Vowell-like person was explaining to me how my body language could be misinterpreted. Then, in the library, four other girls and I recreated that MC Escher illusion with the infinite staircase.


Jeez. I've answered or skipped every question in the OkCupid database. That's so lame of me. I went on there to answer questions when I got bored of doing work. I've been registered on that site for a little less than two weeks. Ugh.

In other news that no one cares about, my hair looked really damn good today. I wish I could get it to behave like this every day.

And let's make this a trifecta: my lower eyelid is swollen and really sore, especially right near my tear duct. I think I might see a doctor about it tomorrow.


It's funny cause it's true, although it's not so funny when I'm at yellow despite having taken my Levoxyl.

Bah. I need to learn more CSS so I can do actual neat stuff with layouts.

And watching Tim being smooth with Rachel on The Office (UK version) makes me even more of a hormonal, romantic mess than I am. Sigh. I miss the chase, the flirty stuff and all of that. I get too invested into sitcom romances. I've become everything I hate.


Bjork's "Frosti" just came up on my iPod. This makes me think of how my dad plays records during Christmas, specifically one that's all music box stuff. Right now I just want to go home. Jesus Christ, I'm a wreck. I feel like I can't finish this semester. I'm so close, too--three papers and one test. I just want to be home, where I have nothing to worry about. I hate how certain songs are triggers for me to just freak out.

How am I going to survive a semester abroad?

Oh shit. I totally overdrew on my checking account. I did this last year at this exact same time. Yesterday I deposited a buttload of money, so hopefully that'll clear soon. Ugh. I need a job right now.


My hyacinth died and I threw it away. Who doesn't love some good, old-fashioned, heavy-handed symbolism?

I'm officially a Cinema Studies minor. Among other things, I'm taking World Cinema in the 1960s and Russian & East European film next semester. I'm excited about those two. My schedule itself is kind of icky--they're pretty much all late afternoon classes, except I have a MWF at 9am.

My mom says she wants to let me have the Honda at school next semester, which would be so incredibly cool. I'll need to travel to the suburbs for doctor appointments and that would be pretty much impossible without a car.

I still need to figure out housing. Gah.

When did it become acceptible to break up with someone by ignoring them? The first time I thought it was just because the guy was socially inept, but it's happened a second time. Jeez, give me even a text message that says, "I h8 u," at least. I miss the days of being broken up with face-to-face.


     Talia and I went to a sushi restaurant with one of her friends and a guy from one of my classes. Talia and her friend were speaking Japanese, and so I remarked to the guy that it was good that I had him there so I didn't feel left out. He said, "Um, I'm half-Japanese," like I was an idiot for not knowing, and started talking to them in Japanese. The waiter came to take our orders. He brought over a big bowl of miso soup as an appetizer, and he was bending over far enough that the ends of his ponytail were getting dipped in the soup. I made a joke about Talia, but then I thought it was too mean, so I touched her hand as I apologized. The waiter chastized me, saying that it's very bad manners to touch anyone at a Japanese dinner table. Talia and the two other people looked very annoyed.
     I got frustrated and left, deciding to walk around town. I ran into my mom, who had been doing something for work. We went home together, and for some reason she was being really snotty and bitchy to me. I found out my parents had been hiding someone in our basement.
     I was flying to Paris with another guy from one of my classes. The inside of our airplane looked like the interior of an old van, the kind with 2 rows of bench seats. The pilots were doing crossword puzzles, and one actually got very airsick.

I ended up writing 7 pages and going to bed at 6am. Gah.

Today I was really bummed about a lot of things (study abroad, what I'm going to do with my life, papers, other things...), but then I skipped class to talk with my favorite prof, and she really made me feel better. I found out she stood up for me, which is always great. I also took a nap, which helped things. Bubble tea, Chipotle, and making new friends: also helpful.

I bought liquid eyeliner today. I put it on, just to practice. I guess the closest resemblance was Alex from A Clockwork Orange, no lie. It's hideous, and I don't know what I did wrong. The brush is so thick. I guess I've resigned myself to a life without makeup.

I just tried it again. It looks even worse. I hate liquid eyeliner.


Urg. Ever have a weekend where you feel like you need another weekend right away, just to take time and recoup? That's been my weekend. Even at 2:23am on a Monday morning I still have a lot ahead of me to conquer. I have 2 big papers to complete before I can relax for a few days. One of them is due tomorrow. I have 4.5 pages out of a required 10-12. At this point I've sacrificed both quality and quantity for sanity. If I can write another 4 pages by 9am, I'll be thrilled.

All I want to do right now is crawl into my bed and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Why did I choose this topic? I'm writing on Yugoslavian animation and its historical context. History doesn't interest me, and to make matters worse, Yugoslavian history is complicated.

Bah. I already can't wait until 3pm tomorrow so I can take a nap.

ETA: What the hell? I just looked at my syllabus for the class, and I had written in ~8-10 pages as the required length for this paper. I thought it was 10-12. This makes my life a little easier.