I was casually kissing Gareth from The Office (the UK version, obviously). He was getting more and more excited, and finally said, "I can't believe you're going to be my first!" I was like, "Say what?" And left. I went to an old library, where a Sarah Vowell-like person was explaining to me how my body language could be misinterpreted. Then, in the library, four other girls and I recreated that MC Escher illusion with the infinite staircase.

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