So my paper is going crappily. It's almost 3 am, I have 2 of 5 pages written, and I don't have a whole lot else to say. I started reading articles from a course pack for my film theory course in an attempt to find things to say. It went...alright. I found two relevant quotations, one that was easy to integrate, and one that still hasn't been integrated yet. Outstanding features of this paper include footnotes (normally I do bibliographies and in-text citations, but I was feeling bold) and an appendix of hand-drawn images illustrating a specific point I wanted to make.

Unrelated: I'm in a passive-aggressive mood right now.

I'm seriously considering writing another page, going to bed, skipping my morning class, and finishing the paper then (it's due at 1). I feel really guilty missing class, and I like to have my paper done before I go to bed, but...I've reached my limit. I stayed up til 5am on Monday night writing. My knees are killing me from sitting for so long. I'm fatigued in general (see: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis). I have so much on my mind, and it seems like I'm mentally less and less capable of dealing with it. I just feel totally slowed down, like I've been drugged.

Dear Andre Bazin: Thank you for saving my paper.

I guess it might be pertinent to mention that my paper is a sequence analysis of René Clair's Le Million. I chose the scene when Antionio Sopranelli enters the pawn shop and buys the jacket. I'm hoping that name-dropping Bazin and using erudite film-dork terms like MacGuffin will earn me some extra points. My prof and classmates think I'm a legit film-dork, when in reality I'm just a film-dork poser. But I can use the terms and apply them, whereas my classmates are still trying to figure out how a jump cut differs from a straight cut, let alone recognize when the 180-degree rule has been broken (or things of that nature). The other day, my prof was talking about auteurs, and she said something like, "I know Kerry's got something to say on that subject!" That made me feel warm and fuzzy. And smart. And SMART!

I found my professor's doctoral thesis online, and I'm almost thinking of reading the relevant parts and quoting them back to her in my paper. Is that kosher? If it's kosher, is it totally lame? If it's kosher and totally lame, am I above it? ...Probably not.

Wish me luck.

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