I got three hours of sleep last night. Not for lack of trying, though. I was in bed by 12:30, but I couldn't fall asleep 'til 4. Blah.

It occurred to me last night that I'd be a prime candidate for one of those women who stays with an abusive partner because "He's not really that bad." Actually, that was pretty much how I was in my last relationship. It wasn't physically abusive, but it was somewhat psychologically abusive (for reasons I'd rather not enumerate). I'm definitely not as secure anymore, and I now have a predilection to believe that everything that goes wrong is my fault. I'm glad I got out. But I see this behavior with friends now--they treat me poorly, but I keep going back because it's my fault, I'm oversensitive and making something out of nothing. Besides, they have a reason to do what they do to me, and it must be the result of something I've done wrong, right? Blah. Now to pick up the pieces of my shattered self-esteem. ...Ooh, how emo was that?

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