Hospital/surgery anecdotes:

  • The first two hours after I woke up from general anesthesia were when I felt the most pain I've ever felt in my life, kidney stones included. I was involuntarily shaking and moaning from the pain. My tongue was very swollen and very bruised (it was bluish along the edges)--still is, in fact. There was lots of fresh blood in my mouth that I was desperate to wipe out. It was probably the most hellish experience I've ever been through. To make matters that much worse, all of the nurses in the recovery room decided they were going to share their spider horror stories. I'm absolutely petrified of spiders, and even looking at them makes me feel nauseated. Adjectives like "muscular", "crunchy", and "goopy" were being bandied about, adjectives that should never be used to describe any arachnid, insect, or crustacean. I plugged my ears at this point. Stupid asshole nurses.

  • I had a morphine IV hooked up so that I could press a button up to every 5 minutes to receive 1mg of morphine. I wasn't using very much because I hate being out-of-it, and the pain wasn't so terrible after those first two hours. My doctor came by to check up on me and said, "If I were you, I'd be as high on morphine as I could while it was legal."

  • My aunt, uncle, and grandma sent me a balloon, some bracelets, and a stuffed dog that looks like Kelsey (and is even a bit bigger). It really cheered me up, since I didn't expect anything. The gifts were delivered by two little old ladies who worked in the gift shop; one of them said, "Apparently Grandma thinks you're a little girl," which was pretty funny. I replied with, "Well, sometimes I am," because I so am when it comes to stuffed animals given to me for comfort. Especially dogs. Let me say that I would never in a million years bring my own stuffed animal with me to the hospital, but it was so nice having something soft to hold.

  • The two nurses who prepped me for surgery were awesome. I want them as aunts. They commented on how young I looked and how thin I was. One was putting sticky things on my chest for the heart monitor and she said, "Okay, I'm going to stick this under your boob, just so you don't think I'm getting frisky with you." The nurse said "boob". Awesome.

  • Speaking of the sticky heart monitors, I'm allergic to basically every adhesive ever. I also had a feeding tube that was sutured and taped to my nose. After the first two hours of recovery, I think the tape on my nose was the most hellish thing about surgery. It itched so much that I barely slept on Monday night; it got so bad that I was pressing the morphine in order to dull the nerves in my nose. It's now 2am on Thursday and I'm still itching all over. I've used oatmeal wash and hydrocortisone, yet my skin is raw in some places where the adhesive was.

  • My tongue is still very messed up from being clamped. It's swollen in two spots and creased in another. There's a patch of white that I think might be dead skin. It's very tingly. Luckily I have my sense of taste.

  • Speaking of taste, I am sick of my liquid diet. I can't have anything even slightly thicker than water, since swallowing is still nearly impossible. For the most part, I just let stuff make its own way down the back of my throat. I'm sick of the sugary fruity stuff that's pretty much all I am capable of eating. I've made a list of all the meals I can't wait to enjoy once I can finally have solid food. I don't know when this will be; I'm guessing I still have several days, if not a week still, of liquids only. Bah.

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