Dream:
     Ian Benardo was hassling women at a department store. He started beating up on me.

Dream:
     I was in line for a taco restaurant. Michael Cera was ahead of me. He turned around to give me his business card, which was about the size of a sim card. We started talking and we hit it off. I told him I was really looking forward to Superbad, which is only kind of true: I'll probably go see it, but I'm not extra pumped. Then it was my turn to order. The girl behind the counter explained that someone had puked all over the counter, but she brought her dog in to eat it up, and what would I like to order? I decided that I wasn't really hungry anymore, so I left. On my way out, I saw a flyer that the author of this blog was starting a fashion club at my university. I immediately wrote to her and asked to be an officer.

*In the event that Ms. What Claudia Wore finds her way over here via referrals (if there's anyone who actually reads my blog):
This was just a bizarre dream. I'm not a creep...

Using the word "classy" automatically makes you not. Also, it is hilarious in a laughing-at-you sort of way. Use the word "sophisticated" instead.

Why I don't watch The Office (American version)

The Pam & Jim situation is far too depressing. Every episode makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and cry.

As someone who has Pulp Fiction memorized, I understand the problems with trying to air it on cable television, I truly do. However, IT'S NOT WORTH IT FOR YOU TO MANGLE A PERFECTLY AMAZING MOVIE FOR THE SAKE OF SOMETHING TO BROADCAST AT 11PM. Just show some reruns of Hey Paula or Top Chef like you do every other night.

This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the solar plexus.
Obstacles to your progress or restrictions on your freedom to act create a sense of frustration which may cause you to feel resentful and even rebellious.
You can then become intolerant of others, and caustic and belittling in your expression, thereby imposing stress on your personal relationships.

Oh great, thanks.

I have a cold and bad cramps and I haven't had a meal since Wednesday and I have a paper and test on Monday and I don't have a single cent to my name and my phone doesn't work and I can't speak French. I considered pulling a Javert. I can't fucking wait to go home.

Madame: Have you seen the hair on this one?
Camille: I know!--Golden, curly...I know!

Translated from French.

Songs of the moment:

Poupée de cire, poupée de son - France Gall
Columbia is Bleeding - Nellie McKay
Danny Boy - Rufus Wainwright
Feel Good by Numbers - The Go! Team
Lost Love - The Children's Hour
The Beat Goes On - The Buddy Rich Big Band
After the Curtain - Beirut

Yes, rat poison and Earth Day. They go hand in hand. This ad comes from a 1971 Life magazine. I don't remember seeing this ad but I did see the in-store display. I took all of the decals from the store display and pasted them all over my bike. It looked....real crappy. So I pulled them off a day later.

Mark Frauenfelder writes a post that I actually enjoyed reading. Way to go, Mark. This puts you like 8000 steps ahead of Cory and Xeni.

The cutest thing ever: France Gall, Poupée de cire, poupée de son. And her name is France Gall (Gaul), which is awesome. It's like in Closely Watched Trains how the lady's name was Viktoria Freie.

ETA: Gall and Gaul are not pronounced similarly in French. I should really know better.

Me: I'm so cute and drunk.
Erin: You should go back to [our high school], because everyone there thinks the same thing about themselves.

My sister is the best

[smugly] "We're Ukranian. [points to Mom] You're not."

"Kerry, you're the weirdest girl ever. I'm glad you're my sister."


P.S. When did my blog turn into my own personal little "Overheard in"?

The roof of my mouth itches and it is hell.

And thus recommences blogging to put off writing a paper.

Song of the moment:

The Magic Numbers - This is a Song

This is one of those incredibly sweet and pretty songs, the type you hear on a commercial for Volkswagen, and you make a mental note to find out who it is and buy their album, but then at the same time you hate yourself for being introduced to music by Volkswagen. And besides, the song is already ruined before you even had a chance to fall in love with it, because every time you hear it you think of quirky yet mute 30somethings driving around in their Golf.

Luckily I found this song before it appeared in any commercial.

It's my new ringtone, which might be just as disgustingly commercial as falling in love with a song from an ad, but at this point I'm in need of absolutely anything that will cheer me up. This song works. (Temporarily.)

Me: My homework is to find a Victor Hugo quote.
Aleksy: ...Yeah, I feel like I'm not getting challenged enough either.

Alex: Look! British schoolboys!
Me: Hehehehehehe.
Alex: I knew you'd like it.

Like Clockwork

I go into McDo, Xtina's "Ain't No Other Man" comes on the radio.

Nicolas Sarkozy looks like Kevin McDonald, n'est-ce pas?

In related news, one of my profs looks like Ed Begley Jr.

"Oh, Kerry. You're the only person in the world who'd rather be in Urbana than Paris."

It's true.