Dream:
     Ian Benardo was hassling women at a department store. He started beating up on me.

Dream:
     I was in line for a taco restaurant. Michael Cera was ahead of me. He turned around to give me his business card, which was about the size of a sim card. We started talking and we hit it off. I told him I was really looking forward to Superbad, which is only kind of true: I'll probably go see it, but I'm not extra pumped. Then it was my turn to order. The girl behind the counter explained that someone had puked all over the counter, but she brought her dog in to eat it up, and what would I like to order? I decided that I wasn't really hungry anymore, so I left. On my way out, I saw a flyer that the author of this blog was starting a fashion club at my university. I immediately wrote to her and asked to be an officer.

*In the event that Ms. What Claudia Wore finds her way over here via referrals (if there's anyone who actually reads my blog):
This was just a bizarre dream. I'm not a creep...

Using the word "classy" automatically makes you not. Also, it is hilarious in a laughing-at-you sort of way. Use the word "sophisticated" instead.

Why I don't watch The Office (American version)

The Pam & Jim situation is far too depressing. Every episode makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and cry.

As someone who has Pulp Fiction memorized, I understand the problems with trying to air it on cable television, I truly do. However, IT'S NOT WORTH IT FOR YOU TO MANGLE A PERFECTLY AMAZING MOVIE FOR THE SAKE OF SOMETHING TO BROADCAST AT 11PM. Just show some reruns of Hey Paula or Top Chef like you do every other night.

This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the solar plexus.
Obstacles to your progress or restrictions on your freedom to act create a sense of frustration which may cause you to feel resentful and even rebellious.
You can then become intolerant of others, and caustic and belittling in your expression, thereby imposing stress on your personal relationships.

Oh great, thanks.

I have a cold and bad cramps and I haven't had a meal since Wednesday and I have a paper and test on Monday and I don't have a single cent to my name and my phone doesn't work and I can't speak French. I considered pulling a Javert. I can't fucking wait to go home.

Madame: Have you seen the hair on this one?
Camille: I know!--Golden, curly...I know!

Translated from French.

Songs of the moment:

Poupée de cire, poupée de son - France Gall
Columbia is Bleeding - Nellie McKay
Danny Boy - Rufus Wainwright
Feel Good by Numbers - The Go! Team
Lost Love - The Children's Hour
The Beat Goes On - The Buddy Rich Big Band
After the Curtain - Beirut

Yes, rat poison and Earth Day. They go hand in hand. This ad comes from a 1971 Life magazine. I don't remember seeing this ad but I did see the in-store display. I took all of the decals from the store display and pasted them all over my bike. It looked....real crappy. So I pulled them off a day later.

Mark Frauenfelder writes a post that I actually enjoyed reading. Way to go, Mark. This puts you like 8000 steps ahead of Cory and Xeni.

The cutest thing ever: France Gall, Poupée de cire, poupée de son. And her name is France Gall (Gaul), which is awesome. It's like in Closely Watched Trains how the lady's name was Viktoria Freie.

ETA: Gall and Gaul are not pronounced similarly in French. I should really know better.

Me: I'm so cute and drunk.
Erin: You should go back to [our high school], because everyone there thinks the same thing about themselves.

My sister is the best

[smugly] "We're Ukranian. [points to Mom] You're not."

"Kerry, you're the weirdest girl ever. I'm glad you're my sister."


P.S. When did my blog turn into my own personal little "Overheard in"?

The roof of my mouth itches and it is hell.

And thus recommences blogging to put off writing a paper.

Song of the moment:

The Magic Numbers - This is a Song

This is one of those incredibly sweet and pretty songs, the type you hear on a commercial for Volkswagen, and you make a mental note to find out who it is and buy their album, but then at the same time you hate yourself for being introduced to music by Volkswagen. And besides, the song is already ruined before you even had a chance to fall in love with it, because every time you hear it you think of quirky yet mute 30somethings driving around in their Golf.

Luckily I found this song before it appeared in any commercial.

It's my new ringtone, which might be just as disgustingly commercial as falling in love with a song from an ad, but at this point I'm in need of absolutely anything that will cheer me up. This song works. (Temporarily.)

Me: My homework is to find a Victor Hugo quote.
Aleksy: ...Yeah, I feel like I'm not getting challenged enough either.

Alex: Look! British schoolboys!
Me: Hehehehehehe.
Alex: I knew you'd like it.

Like Clockwork

I go into McDo, Xtina's "Ain't No Other Man" comes on the radio.

Nicolas Sarkozy looks like Kevin McDonald, n'est-ce pas?

In related news, one of my profs looks like Ed Begley Jr.

"Oh, Kerry. You're the only person in the world who'd rather be in Urbana than Paris."

It's true.

Somewhere in the past 22 years, eating became a social activity for me, and only a social activity. If I don't have an set date to eat with someone, I forget to eat. This is problematic when I am in a new place and don't know very many people. If I am by myself and I remember to eat, then I feel guilty for wasting both money and calories on something that I don't necessarily have to do.

My nightly ritual has become listening to Xtina's "Ain't No Other Man" in a McDonald's in Paris. It is so, so right.

Crazy week.

I worked 40 hours during the textbook rush. It was insanely busy. At one point there was a line stretching halfway down the block of people waiting to get inside the store. My body wasn't used to retail, so my back, feet, and legs ached for a few days.

Then I had insane PMS symptoms, the likes of which I'd never experienced before. I bloated so much that it looked like I was at least 3 months pregnant.

Then I've had to deal with kidney stone issues for the past week and a half. I went to the so-called 24-hour pharmacy to get a prescription filled (standing in line with Mr. Jimmy...), but the actual pharmacy part closed at 6. I'm too lazy/tired/in pain to drive the 4 miles to another pharmacy, so it looks like I'll be waiting until 10am tomorrow. Turns out the chorus is pretty apt, right?

Then:



Yeah. No fun.

In the past month my muscles have been twitching a lot--mostly in my legs, but recently spreading to my face and ribs. It's really irritating and I don't know why it's happening. It happens constantly. My legs have started spasming uncontrollably at night, to the point where I'll basically kick myself awake. Ugh.

ETA: I've tried Dial-a-Nurse four times now, and each time it hangs up on me before I can talk to anyone. It's supposed to be a 24-hour service.

Dakota Fanning and I are the same height, even though we're 10 years apart.

I'm not saying she's a grave digger, but rigor mortis makes my cock bigger.

Yeah, I'm not above making lame year-old references.

Thanks to colored pencils and Photoshop, I now have a much-needed header for my knitblog. Check it out. I'm not 100% happy with it, but 1.) anything beats what I had before (a straight-out-of-the-box Blogger template), and 2.) I was tired of messing around in Photoshop.

My next project is a new header for this blog, in a similar minimalist style.

ETA: When I change the dimensions of my browser window, the main part overlaps the illustration. That always happens and I hate it. Ugh...time to scour the internet to find a solution.

EAgainTA: I figured it out. You use position:absolute. It works with FF, Opera, Safari, and IE 4+. Hooray for me. This will definitely be handy for the future.

Looks like my pessimistic optimism works.

In other news, I brushed my teeth three times this morning because I kept forgetting I already had done so.

Current Aural Obsessions

• You're With Me - Marit Bergman (I definitely listened to this one 17 times last week.)
  
• Transdermal Celebration - Ween
  
• Rains in Asia - Jump Little Children

Other Things No One Cares About

• I'm growing my nails out for the first time ever. I haven't ever been able to because of piano or violin, but now that I'm a lazy bum I figure I can have pretty, feminine hands. I never realized the sheer amount of junk that gets caught under there.
  
• I've been obsessive about making thematic playlists.

Things that make me happy at 2:45 am:
Marit Bergman's "You're With Me" synchs up nearly perfectly with the latter portion of Audrey Hepburn's dance sequence in Funny Face. The only problem is that the song is longer than the dance sequence. Regardless, I plan on watching it 400 more times before going to bed.

Edit: It also synchs up with the dance sequence from Bande a part.

2007 has started out with a meh.