Dream:
     Ian Benardo was hassling women at a department store. He started beating up on me.

Dream:
     I was in line for a taco restaurant. Michael Cera was ahead of me. He turned around to give me his business card, which was about the size of a sim card. We started talking and we hit it off. I told him I was really looking forward to Superbad, which is only kind of true: I'll probably go see it, but I'm not extra pumped. Then it was my turn to order. The girl behind the counter explained that someone had puked all over the counter, but she brought her dog in to eat it up, and what would I like to order? I decided that I wasn't really hungry anymore, so I left. On my way out, I saw a flyer that the author of this blog was starting a fashion club at my university. I immediately wrote to her and asked to be an officer.

*In the event that Ms. What Claudia Wore finds her way over here via referrals (if there's anyone who actually reads my blog):
This was just a bizarre dream. I'm not a creep...

Using the word "classy" automatically makes you not. Also, it is hilarious in a laughing-at-you sort of way. Use the word "sophisticated" instead.

Why I don't watch The Office (American version)

The Pam & Jim situation is far too depressing. Every episode makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and cry.

As someone who has Pulp Fiction memorized, I understand the problems with trying to air it on cable television, I truly do. However, IT'S NOT WORTH IT FOR YOU TO MANGLE A PERFECTLY AMAZING MOVIE FOR THE SAKE OF SOMETHING TO BROADCAST AT 11PM. Just show some reruns of Hey Paula or Top Chef like you do every other night.

This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the solar plexus.
Obstacles to your progress or restrictions on your freedom to act create a sense of frustration which may cause you to feel resentful and even rebellious.
You can then become intolerant of others, and caustic and belittling in your expression, thereby imposing stress on your personal relationships.

Oh great, thanks.